Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this generation, nowadays nature and their environment are so crazy. Just because by human . Human creat that all things negative and positive ways also . environment is a that thing who gives us fresh air and nature who sent hour for that .
I think when environment problems are there it's is very harmful us everything. For animals,Hunan , birds ,and others. Environmental problem is very effective for us . Therefore we should do anything for that that is clean our city and don't cut a tree , plantation of trees however we can do anything for nature. Nature is very crucial for us due to the fact that they gives us fresh air and fresh our mind , and to concentrate our mind for freedom .
We should do the program on somewhere for everyone knows their important of environment . We can make program in school, office and market for everyone should be known that knowledge for save our nature .
There are so many ways to clean a nature that is we should do corruption for environment for save our nature. Any don't threw a garbage on the road and on the river. We should do clean the river. If river isn't a clean it became harmful for animals birds. They will be drink a dirty waters and they will be dead . Therefore we should do river neat and clear for everyone. If it was a dirty ,it's smell should be also harmful for us . And there plant also will be not grew up .
Therefore, we should do anything for our nature and keep our nature stunning and beautiful for environment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the specific prompt, which asks for a discussion on whether the loss of species is the most significant environmental problem compared to other issues. Instead, the essay provides a general, somewhat repetitive discussion about environmental protection and pollution. The student does not identify or discuss the two opposing views mentioned in the prompt, nor is a clear position on the specific debate provided. The ideas are underdeveloped and lack the necessary focus on the topic of biodiversity loss versus other environmental concerns. Consequently, the response does not meet the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. Transitions are often misused or absent, such as the abrupt shift between discussing nature and suggesting programs in schools. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical, for example, the repetitive use of 'Therefore' and 'And'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought. While there is an attempt to structure the essay, the lack of clear topic sentences and logical flow between arguments significantly hinders coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, relying on basic words like 'nature', 'environment', 'clean', and 'harmful'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'do corruption for environment' (which is nonsensical in this context) and 'fresh our mind'. The student struggles to express complex ideas due to a lack of precise vocabulary. While the meaning is generally understandable, the range is insufficient to discuss the topic with any degree of sophistication or accuracy, keeping the score in the lower range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they gives us'), article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'If river isn't a clean it became harmful'). The student relies almost exclusively on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are consistently faulty. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with irregular spacing and capitalization errors throughout. The high frequency of errors across basic and complex structures indicates a lack of control over English grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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