Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals maintain that the most alarming environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of flora nad fauna. Others argue that there are other environmental problems which hold a significant amount of importance. I believe in the latter view as the problems like deforestation and carbon emmision are more dangerous than the decrease in number of honeybees extracting honey.

On one hand, the unprecedented decrease in the number of honeybees has led to reduced extraction of honey from sunflower plants. As a result the honey goes waste and the plant also dies as the honey should be extracted from it within appropriate time range. For instance, the reduced number of honeybees in Surat has led to a huge number of deaths of sunflower plants. This alarming problem can lead to global scarcity of honey required for daily use and medication.

On the other hand, problem like carbon emmision holds a paramount importance as owing to carbon emmision, the quality of air is deteriorating at a constant pace. This has led to increase in number of individuals getting prone to respiratory disease like asthma as the primary driver of this disease is breathing polluted air. For example, the increased rate of carbon emmision in Mehsana has led to increase in number of cases affiliated with asthma. If this continues, it is expected that in the near future almost 40 percent of total population of the globe would suffer from respiratory diseases.

In my opinion, the probelm of deforestation needs more importance as due to deforestation the amount of oxygen produced is constantly decreasing. Consequently, the problems related to lack of oxygen such as cardovascular block and heart attack are increasing. For example, the deforestation in Gandhinagar for building highly technical GIFT CITY has resulted in more deaths due to such disease. If this is not mitigated, in the near future people would need to carry oxygen bottles to breathe fresh air.

In conclusion, nevertheless the decreased number of honey bees has led to a decrease in production of honey increasing the risk of scarcity across the globe, problems like carbon emmision and deforestation carry paramount importance as they lead to life thretening respiratory and cardovascular disease respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the essay. The writer discusses both views—the loss of specific species versus other pressing environmental issues—and gives a distinct personal opinion favoring the latter. Relevant ideas are presented, such as the discussion on honeybees and carbon emissions, though some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the body paragraph focusing on honeybees tends to wander into overly specific and unusual arguments rather than addressing biodiversity at a macro level, showing characteristics of both the band below and the target band. Furthermore, 12 words copied directly from the prompt were correctly excluded from the official count. To reach a higher level, the writer should ensure that all main ideas are explored with equal depth and supported by more globally applicable reasoning rather than narrow localized examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay achieves a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, starting with an introduction, moving through the two required views and the personal stance, and finishing with a logical conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive, relying heavily on transitional phrases like 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In my opinion' to structure the arguments. Referencing is mostly clear, though some cohesive devices are overused or lack variety. To move further up the scale, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more fluidly and ensure that transitions between sentences feel more natural and less formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items such as 'unprecedented,' 'deteriorating,' and 'paramount importance.' However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally detract from precision, including typos like 'nad' for 'and,' 'emmision' instead of 'emission,' 'probelm,' and 'thretening.' Additionally, some collocations are slightly unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'cardovascular block.' These errors do not seriously impede communication, reflecting a solid middle-band performance. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire with greater precision, improve spelling accuracy, and demonstrate a more sophisticated control of less common vocabulary and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures such as conditional sentences and relative clauses. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles (e.g., 'as the honey goes waste,' 'problem like carbon emission'), pluralization inconsistencies, and preposition usage within grammatical patterns. Nonetheless, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the argument without significant difficulty. To reach the next level, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free complex sentences, demonstrate better control over articles and singular/plural noun agreement, and refine punctuation to ensure smoother syntactic flow.

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