Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is often argued that multiple individuals say that the main enviromental issues of our time is the loss of particulkar species of plants and animals while others say that there are more crucial enviromental problems. In my prespective i firmly agree that enviroment affect alot of animals and their habitat. This essay will bbe examined in more details below.
On the one hand , i belived that polluted enviroment make very disstressful for the plants and animals. They died beacuse of different issues but the main issue is the pollution which not only effect the animals it also affect the people. Whenever we lost our beloved pets we feel very detriment. We have to clean our enivroment so the species could live their life in a peaceful way. For instance, I ive in sargodha which is known as most polluted city. I planted crops in my garden but it doesn't grow beacuse the temperature of the weather was too high that my all crops was brun.
On the second hand, some disagree with this statment they that if the animals die their is no role of the enivroment. However, they also says that if the plant did not grow their is no crucial role of the enivroment. They acutally dont care of the plants and animals they wanted to live freely . For instance, my neighbours that brings fishes but it alive only 2 days then they die
In the conculsion, Some human beings did not belive that enviroment plays an important role in the death of the animals . But i agreed that enviroment plays an crucial role.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response responds to the task only minimally, as the discussion of both views is underdeveloped and the writer's opinion is unclear and unfocused. While the essay touches on the prompt regarding environmental problems and species loss, the ideas presented are very limited. For example, the mention of planting crops in a garden in Sargodha to illustrate pollution lacks direct connection to the prompt's core debate about whether losing specific plant and animal species is our main environmental crisis. To move to a higher level, the writer must present a clear position throughout the essay and support all main ideas with well-developed, relevant explanations rather than tangential personal anecdotes.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
Information and ideas are not arranged in a truly coherent way, reflecting minimal overall progression. Although the text is broken down into paragraphs, the logical links between and within sentences are faulty and mechanical. Expressions such as 'On the one hand', 'On the second hand', and 'In the conculsion' are used to structure the essay, but the progression of ideas is disjointed. For instance, the transition from discussing animal pollution to a personal garden in Sargodha lacks a clear logical bridge. Referencing is also unclear at times, such as the pronoun use in 'they that if the animals die their is no role'. To improve, the writer needs to ensure a clear logical organization throughout and use cohesive devices more accurately.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with numerous errors in spelling and word choice that frequently strain the reader. Words like 'enviromental', 'particulkar', 'prespective', 'disstressful', 'detriment', and 'conculsion' contain persistent spelling mistakes. There are also notable collocation and word choice errors, such as saying 'we feel very detriment' instead of feeling devastated or saddened, or stating that crops 'was brun' instead of burnt. The range of vocabulary is limited to everyday words and lacks the precision needed for academic tasks. To progress, the student must expand their lexical repertoire, learn accurate word forms, and pay close attention to standard spelling conventions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Grammatical structures are very limited, and errors are frequent throughout the response, occasionally distorting the intended meaning. The text relies heavily on simple sentence patterns, and attempts at more complex structures are consistently faulty. There are recurrent errors in subject-verb agreement and verb tenses, such as 'the main enviromental issues... is', 'They died beacuse', 'my all crops was brun', and 'fishes but it alive only 2 days'. Punctuation and article usage also show frequent inaccuracies. To achieve a higher standard, the writer must demonstrate control over basic sentence construction, ensure correct verb forms and tense consistency, and reduce the frequency of fundamental grammatical errors.
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