Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Since there are two various groups, the first one points out that the main reason for environmental problem is the loss of plants and animals , and the other's are saying that there are more reasons to cause these problem , firstly i think these both group of people are right in there respected way, the thing that causes this loss according to my opinion is the increasing in the pollution in the environment , i think that the industries which are responsible for this acts should be placed somewhere in the country where the population is low in numbers and also other species like plants and animals, secondly the main reason of the environmental problem in the usage of gas and deisel in a huge amount by the peoples their-selfs as they have heavy cars and motorbikes which causes a lot of smoke which polutes the envirnment , also i think they don't have a choice either, since there are people in the country those who cannot afford heavily prices vehicles such as electric cars and stuff, so they should be provided by the government it self to reduce the popullation . the third and the most common reason for environment loss is the Air conditional systems installed at every home nowadays, this should also be properly checked and balanced by the system itself , the forth and the most effective and common reason is that the people who are smoking weed, cigerattes , other stuff which are also not only harmfull to themselves but if effects the other peoples life also , so the conclution of the whole statement is to reduce these four reason and i hope so there will be more reasons that are effecting the environment

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You mention both the loss of species and other environmental problems, and you give a personal view that pollution is a major cause. However, the discussion does not clearly explain why some people consider species loss the main problem, nor does it compare its importance with other threats. Most of the response instead lists causes such as industry, vehicles, air conditioners and smoking, with little explanation of their environmental effects. The position that both groups are right is stated, but it remains broad and is not supported with a relevant example. To address the task more fully, explain each viewpoint directly, develop the reasons behind it, and conclude with a clear judgement about which problem is most serious and why.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable sequence, using “firstly,” “secondly,” “the third,” and “the forth” to introduce points, and it ends with a concluding statement. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, so the two views and your own position are not separated clearly. The repeated list structure also does not create a strong progression: the response moves from species loss to pollution sources without showing how each point relates to the task’s comparison. Several ideas are joined in an extended sentence, making relationships difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for the two viewpoints and your opinion, and connect ideas with clear references and transitions rather than relying mainly on ordinal markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “industries,” “pollution,” “species,” and “electric cars,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is basic and several expressions are imprecise or repetitive, such as “environmental problem,” “a lot of smoke,” and “other stuff.” Some word choices make the intended meaning unclear, for example “reduce the population” appears to mean reducing pollution, while “environment loss” is not a natural expression in this context. Spelling errors such as “deisel,” “polutes,” “envirnment,” and “conclution” also weaken clarity. Build a more precise environmental vocabulary and check spelling, word forms, and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect several ideas using clauses and linking words, but sentence structures are often difficult to control. The opening is a long run-on sentence, and the response continues with several clauses joined mainly by commas, which obscures the relationships between ideas. There are also recurring errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “the other's are saying” and “these problem,” as well as missing or incorrect articles and possessives in phrases such as “the usage of gas” and “the people ... their-selfs.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with spaces before commas and few full stops. Use shorter, complete sentences and practise accurate plural forms, agreement, and clause boundaries.

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