Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
People have different opinoins about whether environmental problem. Some people believe that environmental problem is the main our time is loss whwas other people argue that environmental problems are more important. This essay will explaining why i support the former view.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why some people believe environmental problem is loss our time. firstly, nowadays people are very busy on their own work they have no time to look for the surrounding environment that is clean or not. for instance, the go their office and after return home they take rest or doing their other kinds of work in home like projects, homework, cooking meal, etc. That why many people beleived that environmental problem is waste of time.
On the other hand, supporters of the opposite view argue that it is most important environmental problems. the main reason is if the environment surroundings us are not clean that it might affects our health problems, we must clean our surrounding area. even if we are too busy we must take a to clean the area near us. dirty environtal are dangerous for kids. in my opinion this view is more persuasive because i also believed that claning environmental problems is most important.
in conclusion, both sides have valid arguements. however, i am convinced that importance of cleaning environments because it helps in organic oxygen, and help to aware from diseases.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
You attempt to discuss both views and state a preference, but the response does not accurately address the central issue. The task concerns the loss of particular plant and animal species versus other environmental problems; instead, you discuss people being too busy to care for their surroundings and the need to clean them. This makes much of the reasoning tangential, and the first view is not explained in terms of species loss. Your position also shifts: you initially support the former view, then say the opposite view is more persuasive. The conclusion mentions oxygen and disease without developing these points. The response is 15 words below the required minimum. To improve, explain each stated view directly, give relevant examples, and maintain one clear opinion throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response has a recognisable essay shape, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers identify the intended structure. However, the ideas within paragraphs do not progress clearly: the first body paragraph moves from people being busy to the claim that environmental problems are a “waste of time,” which does not logically explain species loss. The contrast between the two views is also unclear, and the conclusion does not resolve the change in position. Some linking phrases, such as “That why,” are incomplete or unclear. Build each paragraph around one relevant claim, explain it, and connect the example explicitly to that claim.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate a few general ideas about the environment, and you attempt topic-related terms such as “surrounding environment,” “diseases,” and “organic oxygen.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, including “environmental problem is loss our time,” “cleaning environments,” and “aware from diseases.” Spelling errors such as “opinoins,” “beleived,” and “environtal” also reduce accuracy. The response needs more precise language for the actual topic, especially terms for species decline and environmental threats. Learn useful phrases in context, check spelling carefully, and choose expressions that convey a specific meaning rather than repeating broad references to cleaning the environment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors, but sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed. For example, “This essay will explaining” has an incorrect verb form, while “if the environment surroundings us are not clean that it might affects our health problems” contains problems with clause structure, agreement, and verb form. Missing or incorrect articles and sentence boundaries also appear in “firstly, nowadays people…” and “dirty environtal are dangerous for kids.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and review verb patterns after modal verbs, subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation. More accurate control of simple sentences should come before adding complex clauses.
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