Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Both of the points mentioned are widely debated as violence created in the real world is often learned from TV. I grew up in a household with 2 brothers who enjoyed watching violent cartoons like Naruto and Dragon-ball-Z as kids. Their behavior was quite aggressive and often times I had to bear the brunt of the effect of these cartoons had on them. Children in their primitive stage of growth, want to explore and learn whatever meets the eye and this enthusiasm poses a serious threat on their mental development as the learnings in early years retain in a child's mind and brain for a certain period of time which puts an impact on their behavior and mental develpoment. Children should watch movies and cartoons that involves violence under adult supervsion so that there should be a proper boundary of how much violence their mind should be exposed to and the adults should ensure that the threshold is always maintained.

If a fully grown adult watches fictional violence on TV as entertainment, it does not pose that big of a threat as we already know that we are not going to get any opportunity to excercise it in real life, however, exposure to continuous violence even if it is in a virtual form, might bring changes into the psychology of a fully grown adult. They might find it cool to practice violence even if they understand that it is wrong and there is a certain group of people who are short-temepred and have a tendency of starting a fight even at a minor inconvenience. For these adults, fictional violenece on TV can be grave.

In my opinion, everything should be balanced. If action movies are your preferred genre, then you should watch as long as you understand the difference between real life violence and fictional violence. You cannot bring a person back from the dead in real life like the fictional movie characters or plots can.

In conclusion

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position: the first paragraph argues that violent cartoons can affect children, while the second recognises that adults may distinguish fiction from reality but could still be influenced. Your examples from your brothers’ viewing make the discussion relevant. However, the two views are not explored evenly: the case that fictional violence is harmless is only briefly stated, and the conclusion is unfinished (“In conclusion”) rather than summarising your position. Some claims, such as effects on children’s “mental development,” would benefit from clearer explanation or evidence. Develop both sides more fully and finish with a concise conclusion that directly answers the question and reinforces your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from children’s exposure to adults’ responses and then to your opinion. Paragraphing helps distinguish these points, and phrases such as “In my opinion” signal your stance. However, progression is uneven: the opening sentence says both points are debated but does not clearly introduce the two sides, and the final standalone “In conclusion” creates an incomplete ending. Some links between ideas are difficult to follow, particularly the long explanation about children’s development and the shift from adult viewers to people who are short-tempered. Use clearer topic sentences, divide complex explanations into manageable steps, and ensure each paragraph develops one central point before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “exposure,” “threshold,” “psychology,” and “short-tempered.” These choices help communicate your ideas about different viewers and possible effects. There are also some inaccurate or awkward expressions, such as “violence created in the real world is often learned from TV,” where the intended relationship is unclear, and “bear the brunt of the effect,” which is not a natural collocation. Spelling errors such as “develpoment,” “supervsion,” and “violenece” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and proofread carefully; for example, distinguish between violence being portrayed on television and behaviour being influenced by it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures (“If a fully grown adult watches…”) and clauses explaining causes and effects. Meaning is generally understandable, but some sentences are overloaded and contain grammatical problems. For example, “Children in their primitive stage of growth, want…” has an unnecessary comma, while “cartoons that involves violence” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence beginning “Children should watch…” also shifts awkwardly into “so that there should be,” making the recommendation difficult to express clearly. Break long sentences into shorter units, check agreement and punctuation, and use direct constructions such as “Adults should supervise children when they watch violent content.”

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