Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, this issue has been increasingly widespread and has gained a lot of attention. People have different opinion regarding this trend. Some individuals believe that brutal scenes in films may have negative effect on younger ones whereas others think that everyone knows that every scene of movie or drama is fake that is why it is not detrimental. This essay will discuss both points of view before reaching a proper conclusion.

War or firing scenes may have negative effect on environment since numerious children love to watch movies, if they saw frictional voilence they may inspired by the movie. Which leads the crime increasment in the world, individuals start to kill each other and they totally forgot the worth of life.For instance, the kid from america who killed all his class members and his principal, evidance shows that we watched action movies too much. This is how brutal scenes is actually detrimental the mental health.

On the other hand, several citizons firmly believe that it aid people to learn self defence and how to tecal the situation. Everyone knows that all the scenes of films or acts are totally fake, it is not for real life. For example, all the film stars look very different in real life.

To conclude, I firmly believe that movies diroctors should make fighting less brutal and stop killing citizens. Although everything is fake, it may have a detrimental effect on youngers mental health. They should shift movie industry to honesty, kindness and other natural aspects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear preference: you argue that fictional violence can harm young people, while acknowledging the claim that viewers know films are not real. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The first view is supported by a general claim about children imitating violence and a brief example about a school shooting, but the link between the film viewing and the incident is asserted rather than explained or substantiated. The opposing view—that films may teach self-defence—is introduced but receives little explanation, and the example about actors looking different in real life does not directly show that fictional violence is harmless. Develop both arguments with relevant reasoning and examples, and make your conclusion answer the question more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. This makes the main direction easy to follow. You also use signposts such as “On the other hand” and “To conclude” to mark shifts. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the first body paragraph, “if they saw fictional violence they may be inspired by the movie” is followed by “Which leads the crime increasment,” leaving the relationship between the ideas grammatically and logically awkward. The example then arrives without a clear explanation of how it supports the claim. Use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example, and ensure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “detrimental,” “self defence,” and “mental health,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main concerns. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts difficult to understand. For example, “frictional voilence” appears to mean “fictional violence,” “tecal the situation” is unclear, and “crime increasment” is not a natural expression. There are also repeated general terms such as “scenes,” “movie,” and “fake.” Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing media influence, such as “imitate aggressive behaviour” or “desensitise viewers,” and check spelling, word forms, and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including “Some individuals believe that … whereas others think that …” and a conditional sentence beginning “if they saw fictional violence.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, sentence boundaries, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. For example, “Which leads the crime increasment in the world” is an incomplete sentence, while “brutal scenes is actually detrimental” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “it is not for real life,” the clause structure is also awkward. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, and check agreement and punctuation before submitting. More reliable control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to understand.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.