Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is a common belief that fictional violence on television is an important issue in today's society. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of fictional violence on television and will give my opinion.

On the one hand, there are many benefits of fictional violence on television. The main advantage is that it help people to improve their lives. For example, shows on television save time and money, and it also provides new opportunities for learning and work for peoples. As a result, society can develop faster and people can live a better life.

On the other hand, fictional violence on television also has some serious drawbacks. The main disadvantage is that it can be expenmsive and difficult to manage. For instance, many people in developing countries like Pakistan cannot manage fictional violence on television easily. This can create inequality in society. Therefor, the government should take steps to solve this problem.

In conclusion, although fictional violence on television has both advantages and disadvantages. If the government and people work together, fictional violence on television can be solve. In this way, everyone should work together to solve this problem. Although, we work together and solve this problem easily. It is very importance for our society because, ours children behaviour depend upon on this activity. Today, era of technology everyone depend on technology therefor, tevelision is important factor today Especially, our childrens spend lot of time on television.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response is substantially off-topic: the task asks you to discuss whether fictional violence is harmless entertainment or encourages violent behaviour, but your body paragraphs instead describe television as saving time, creating work opportunities, and being expensive or inaccessible. These points do not explain either view, and the conclusion does not give a clear, relevant opinion on the question. The reference to children’s behaviour appears only near the end and is not developed with reasons or an example. You do provide an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the task is addressed only minimally. The response is also 12 words below the required minimum. To improve, explain both perspectives directly and state which one you find more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These signposts help readers identify the intended contrast. However, the ideas within the paragraphs do not progress logically in relation to the topic. For example, the claim that fictional violence “help[s] people to improve their lives” is followed by points about saving time, money, and providing work opportunities, without explaining the connection. The conclusion repeats “work together to solve this problem” and adds several loosely connected statements about technology and children. Use each paragraph to develop one relevant argument, connect supporting examples explicitly to it, and avoid repeated or abrupt concluding sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary to communicate a general essay structure and some broad ideas, including “advantages and disadvantages,” “serious drawbacks,” and “inequality.” However, the vocabulary is repetitive and often does not fit the specific topic: “solve this problem” is repeated, while the response does not use precise language for fictional violence, media influence, or audience behaviour. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, such as “expenmsive,” “Therefor,” “tevelision,” and “importance.” These reduce accuracy and polish, though the general meaning is usually recoverable. Build a small topic-specific vocabulary set and check spelling and word forms carefully; choose expressions that describe the arguments rather than relying on generic phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, and several basic sentence patterns are understandable, such as “This can create inequality in society.” There are also attempts to use subordinate clauses with “although” and “because.” Control is uneven, however. In “the main advantage is that it help people,” the verb does not agree with its subject; “it also provides” has an unclear reference; and “fictional violence on television can be solve” uses an incorrect passive form. The conclusion begins with “although” as a sentence fragment, and “Although, we work together…” is also incomplete. Practise subject–verb agreement, passive constructions, and complete sentences with subordinating conjunctions. Proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries so each idea forms a clear grammatical unit.

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