Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There is a number of individuals think that the fictional violence portrayed on telecision is benificial entertainment. While other disagree and think that it encourage violent activity. Though televison plays an important role and provides essential news and i completely disagree with the fictiona violence portrayed on television is harmless entertaiment.

Recently the best and most popular entertainment tecnology is television.People enjoy watching realist movie seans like fighting and other shorts that always plays different to them. Though everyone like this kind of shots film indesity amking more and more. It really feel breat taking for film lover where they can see realist fight and blood .

There are number of resons podcasting violence portrayed on televsion cause harmfull entertainmnet. Fristly there about all age of people watch television, for example children, old people , young people and men women. Every one do not have that much capabiliy to watch this kind of violence seen. Beside some people have heart disase, moreover child ofte tromataisted after watching this. Last but not least it some time encourage criminal to play hose short they watch form television and they also learn how to clean those evidnce.

In conclusion, considering those part i would like to say that violence portayed in television willbe harmfull and it encourage violent behavior.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall opinion that fictional violence can be harmful, and you offer relevant reasons, including children being distressed and viewers potentially copying criminal behaviour. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the harmless-entertainment position is only briefly mentioned through people enjoying realistic fight scenes; it is not explained or supported. Your own position is also not fully clear in the opening, where the wording around “completely disagree” is difficult to interpret. The examples remain general and some points are unclear. The response is 34 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop both sides. Explain why viewers see this content as entertainment, then support your opinion with specific examples and fuller reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The final paragraph restates your view, and signposts such as “Firstly” and “Last but not least” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, there is no clear progression through both sides of the debate: the second paragraph describes audience enjoyment, while the next moves abruptly to harms without a developed contrast. Some linking expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “Though everyone like” and “Beside,” and the opening sentence is difficult to follow. Organise the essay around one paragraph for each view, followed by a conclusion, and use clear references and transitions to show how each point connects.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “criminal,” “heart disease” and “violent behaviour,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main concern. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or imprecise expressions make meaning harder to follow, for example “telecision,” “benificial,” “realist movie seans” and “clean those evidnce.” Some phrases also do not express the intended idea naturally, such as “harmfull entertainment” when discussing possible effects. Work on accurate spelling and common collocations, and choose precise terms for the effects you describe. A wider set of vocabulary for audience appeal, psychological impact and imitation would help you explain both perspectives more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “While” and a reason introduced by “for example.” However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles and verb forms frequently affect clarity. For instance, “There is a number of individuals think” combines structures incorrectly, while “it encourage violent activity” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening also contains a run-on sequence of ideas, and punctuation is inconsistent, particularly around sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “although,” “because” and “which.” Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb and that verbs agree with their subjects.

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