Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people think that the fictional violance portayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaivour. However in my opinion, its harmless but it can impact mentally on the viewers. Cause some of the people of the earth has a mental problem like they consume the character that they are seeing. For this kind of people the violance Tv shows are so much risky. Nvertheless, as per other people think that they have no problem on those programes. In my opinion, most of the children are now seeing tv more than adults.Cause nowadays, adults are just using mobile phone as their entertainment. So they dont have to see tv. For the children the fictional violence potrayed on television is so risky. Cause we know children can repeat what they show. So tv directors should be careful whenever they illustrate somethng on tv. Cause they ccant surely say that who are watching tv at the moment they are illustrating fictional violence potrayed. If they keep these word in their mind and be positive about the violence it should be helpful for the parents to keep their children be safe from each others. Tv directors should be careful cause most of the tv shows viewers are children and teenagers. If they use sweet and cute characters children will behave cute however if they use violence the children will consume violence. So, in my opinion tv director should be responsible and good thinker then the problem will be solve easily and in time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear personal view that fictional violence is generally harmless but may affect vulnerable viewers, especially children, and you offer a relevant reason: children may imitate what they see. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing argument—that television violence encourages violent behaviour—is not developed as a distinct viewpoint; most of the response repeats your concern about children and directors’ responsibility. The claim that adults mainly use phones also does little to explain either side. The response is 243 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 13 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop each view with a separate reason or example, then explain your position more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable line of thought: it states your opinion, focuses on children as a potentially vulnerable audience, and ends by calling for responsible television directors. Basic links such as “However,” “So,” and “For this kind of people” help show relationships between ideas. However, the writing is presented as one continuous paragraph, and the repeated use of “Cause” and “So” makes the progression feel repetitive rather than carefully organised. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the shift from adults using mobile phones to the risks for children. Use separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main subject, including “fictional violence,” “viewers,” “characters,” and “parents.” The central meaning is generally understandable, but the range is basic and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear or polished. Examples include “violance,” “behaivour,” “potrayed,” and “programes”; “consume the character” is also an unnatural way to describe viewers identifying with or imitating characters. Repeated words such as “children,” “violence,” and “careful” limit variety. Build a small set of accurate topic phrases and check spelling, while choosing expressions that precisely describe the effect of television on behaviour.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences to explain cause and effect, and the reader can usually follow your main point. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or awkward, and the range is limited. For example, “Cause some of the people of the earth has a mental problem” is a fragment, while “most of the children are now seeing tv more than adults” has an unclear comparison. There are also errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “the problem will be solve,” and punctuation is often used to separate fragments beginning with “Cause.” Practise joining reasons to complete main clauses, and check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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