Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Few perons in our society think that the fighting and violence on television is very danagerous enjoyments. On the other hand, some people are not agree with this statement and disagree and thought that it is not danagerous and encourages there violent thinks.In my opinion the violence shows on television is very dangerous and harmless enjoyment.

On the one hand, some people in our society think that the violence acts shown on television is not a good thing and dangerous for our society and children.Childrens and many other peolple learn fighting and violence from that television harmless entertainment.For example: Pakistan banned the things which shows some kind of violence in the television and they donnot encourage the vilence acts and take action against that companies.

On the other hand,some people in our society encourages the violence acts and enjoy that thing from the television and some perform that voilence in his daily life which is not good for other peoples.For example:India television shows the violence on there television is harmless entertainment so many people and children learn that thing and perform in his daily life which effect the other people life and is very dangerous.

In conclusion,the violence shows on television is not a good thing many children learn that thing and use in his life which is dangerous for other people.ln my opinion the dangerous voilence shows on the television is a very harmless entertainment and it should be ban from the television so people see good things on the television and children learn good things from television.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to discuss both views and give a personal opinion, so the response is relevant to the question. The two body paragraphs distinguish people who see televised violence as harmful from those who regard it as harmless, and the conclusion states that it should be banned. However, the position is difficult to follow: the opening calls violence both “very dangerous” and “harmless enjoyment,” and the second view is not explained as a reasoned argument. The examples about Pakistan and India are broad claims rather than specific evidence, and the effects on viewers are asserted rather than explained. Develop each side with a clear reason and a relevant example, then state your own position consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These markers help readers identify the intended discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is weak, and several ideas are repeated rather than developed—for example, that children learn violence and that it is dangerous appears in both body paragraphs and the conclusion. Some connections are unclear, particularly the shift from describing the second view to saying people perform violence in daily life. Use each paragraph to develop one distinct argument, connect claims to explanations or examples, and make references such as “that thing” more precise. This would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of topic-related words, including “violence,” “television,” “dangerous,” and “children,” which keeps the general subject apparent. However, vocabulary is basic and highly repetitive, and several inaccurate choices strain the reader’s understanding. “Dangerous enjoyments” does not express the intended idea, while “encourages the violence acts” and “harmless entertainment” are used in ways that blur the two opposing views. Spelling errors such as “perons,” “danagerous,” and “voilence” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise range for discussing media effects, such as “portrayal,” “influence,” and “aggressive behaviour,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences, including clauses linked with “which,” and use basic present-tense statements to discuss general views. However, sentence structures are very limited overall, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries sometimes make meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “some people … is not a good thing,” “some people … encourages,” and “it should be ban,” where the verb forms do not match the subject or required construction. Several sentences run together without clear punctuation, such as the opening of the first body paragraph. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, plural forms, and punctuation.

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