Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It is clearly justified that nowadays, few folk consider that the fictional movies violenc portrayed on television is harmless entertainment While, someone argue refute former statement and may think that it encourages violent behaviour.However, I will explain this notion with assistance of alogical reasons in upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, in recent era most of young individuals like to interest in fictional movies instead of actual reality base that would enhance their social manner and more productive. To expline with, some persons dislike to these kinds of activities surrounded by near home or society because, it has multiple factor to lead this. Firstly, it may hame for childern due to fact that most of early age people follow whatever they see and hear through watching a fictional videos either in form of short episode or movies on large screen in cinema. For instance,a research done by Universty of Education in past year that conducted evaluation forms on different age the result was too badly to understand those people that moslty, entertaine through non realistic things. Consequentaly, there is less hame to individual used to adjust this type of entertainment directly through television.

By contrary, few masses believe that it is unhealthy way of entertainment watched by

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You introduce the topic and signal that you will discuss differing views, but the response does not adequately fulfil the task. The first body paragraph is difficult to interpret and does not clearly explain why fictional violence might be harmless; its claim that young people prefer fictional films is not connected convincingly to the question. You begin the opposing view with “By contrary,” but the response ends before explaining that view or giving a clear, supported opinion. The example of a university study is also too vague to support the point. The response is 43 words below the required minimum, which contributes to the limited development. Address both views explicitly, state your position, and support each main idea with a clear explanation or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and contrasting body paragraphs, and signposts such as “On the one hand” and “By contrary” show an intention to compare views. However, progression is difficult to follow because several sentences contain unclear or disconnected ideas, such as the discussion of “actual reality base” and “social manner.” The second viewpoint is introduced but not developed, so the essay has no complete line of argument or conclusion. Some linking expressions are also used inaccurately or mechanically, including “To expline with” and “Consequentaly.” Build each paragraph around one clear claim, explain how it answers the question, and use transitions that accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional,” “harmless entertainment,” “violent behaviour,” and “non realistic,” so the subject is recognisable. There are also efforts to use less common expressions, but inaccurate word choice, spelling, and collocation often make the meaning hard to understand. Examples include “actual reality base,” “social manner,” “hame,” and “entertaine through non realistic things.” Several phrases appear to be direct or incomplete translations rather than natural English. Aim for precise, familiar collocations before trying more elaborate wording: for example, explain whether viewers imitate violence or understand it as fiction. Proofread spelling and choose words that express the intended relationship clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Firstly, it may…” and a clause introduced by “because.” However, control is inconsistent, and sentence boundaries and clause structure sometimes make the message difficult to follow. The opening sentence runs together several ideas without clear punctuation, while “most of young individuals like to interest” has an incomplete grammatical pattern. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and agreement, as in “a fictional videos” and “most of early age people.” The final sentence is unfinished, leaving the opposing view incomplete. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check punctuation at each sentence boundary.

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