Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In modern wrold some people believe that the fictional violence is harmless entertainment while some people think that it is not harmless activity or the disagree from others people who think that it is harmless activity in my opinion people think at this topic according to thier lifestyle or their depends on social media life because people take seriously some fictional things they think that this activity is real in our life not in fictional and this is effect our society badly due to the harmless things

firstly one of the main reasons behind one group of people whose think that these fictional things effect which portrayed on television is harmless they take serious in thier personal life from social media things for example some people are very kind heart perosn they dont like harmless things on social media as well as in physical life they think this society's also effect due to fictional thnigs the apply these harm activity in society so due to the reasons in our society increase bad activities

secondly in addition whilw some people think that the disagree with these people because they believe that this harmless activities are on just social media or our television we should enjoy these things or fictional characters so these activities can not effect .Our physical life is almost completely different from fictional life for example fictional heros are figut on sovial media but in real life the also very kind heart persons and we have many examples same like villains whose plays a bad rule in television but in real life they also a very good persons so this is just fictional lifes heros villain and harmless activities we should can bot apply these things on our society

In conclusion in our society all people not have same ideas and same heart every person have individual rights to think and also people watching TV portrayed according to thier interest and view so in my opinion we can not change people way of thinking and people feedback on fictional characters every person have different opinions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to discuss both views and give an opinion, so the response is relevant to the question. The second body paragraph presents the view that fictional violence is separate from real life, while the first tries to explain why it may affect society. However, the first view is difficult to identify because the opening says it is “harmless,” then describes people applying harmful behaviour in real life. Your own position is also not clearly maintained: “in my opinion” introduces an idea about people taking fiction seriously, but the conclusion mainly says everyone has different opinions. Examples about kind-hearted people, heroes and villains are asserted rather than explained or linked convincingly to the effects of television violence. State each view accurately, then support your opinion with a clear, relevant example and explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “firstly” and “secondly,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some indication of the response’s direction. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined into long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the first body paragraph moves from people who consider violence harmless to people who imitate it, without clearly distinguishing those positions. Connectors such as “in addition” and “so” do not always show the relationship between the ideas that follow them. References such as “these things” and “these activities” are also unclear. Use one main point per paragraph, explain it in a logical sequence, and make references specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional,” “television,” “society,” “heroes” and “villains,” which helps keep the response connected to the subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “people,” “things,” “activities” and “fictional” used repeatedly. Several word choices or combinations make the meaning hard to understand, such as “harmless activity” when discussing behaviour that may be harmful, and “plays a bad rule” for a villain’s role. Spelling errors such as “wrold,” “thier,” “perosn” and “figut” also reduce clarity. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing media influence, and check spelling and collocations so that your ideas are expressed accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses and conjunctions, for example in “while some people think” and “because they believe,” but sentence structures are very limited in control. Errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles and verb forms occur frequently and sometimes obscure meaning. The opening sentence, for instance, combines several contrasting claims without a clear grammatical structure; “people take seriously some fictional things” also has an awkward word order. Other examples include “every person have” and “these activities can not effect,” where agreement and verb use are inaccurate. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with long sentences and a full stop placed awkwardly before “Our physical life.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add one controlled subordinate clause at a time.

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