Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this rapidly changing world technical lesiure has becoming the matter considerable dabate. Some people argue that the voilence seen in the movie and serial is for entertainment and do not effect the people's lives, and others believe it influnce the people's behaviour and effect their lives.

In my opinion acting of violence is harmless and it is only for entertainment and sometimes it hepls people to be aware of these type of scenrio in real life.For instance in some action movies they show that how a crimal can trick the normal person, so rather than learning from a criminal, a person can learn how to be aware of these type of situations, as a result a person can save themsleves and their family for some serious issue.

I do not think that it encourage the violent behavor becuase,violance and criminal activities are in mind if anyone has criminal mind it does not need an influence, they just need right time and person to harm. For instance if a child is living in sociecty and in family which choose violance and see disconnect in his family so it will effect that person mind and this will lead them to become a psychopath and in future this person can harm another person, as result its the situation and somehow upbringing that lead to a person become a violent not these entertainment lesuire.

In conclusion, I belive fictional violence ids harmless as it is only ment for entertainment only, Hence if someone wants to learn anything so that person can learn good thing from it aswell.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear opinion that fictional violence is harmless, and you offer relevant support, such as the idea that action films can help viewers recognise criminal tactics. You also address the opposing view by discussing how family circumstances and exposure to violence may shape behaviour. However, the task asks you to discuss why some people believe fictional violence encourages violent behaviour; this side is only partly explained, since your example focuses mainly on real-life upbringing rather than the possible influence of screen violence. Your own position is clear, but the reasoning is sometimes broad or asserted rather than fully developed. Explain the opposing argument more directly, then weigh both views before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for your position and supporting reasoning, and a conclusion. Ideas generally follow a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “For instance,” “as a result,” and “In conclusion” help show relationships. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “I do not think that it encourage…” follows a paragraph supporting your opinion but does not clearly signal that you are now addressing the opposing view. The long sentence beginning “For instance if a child…” also combines several ideas, making the progression harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences for each viewpoint and divide complex reasoning into shorter, logically connected sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “criminal activities,” “upbringing,” and “entertainment,” and your meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “technical lesiure,” “voilence,” “influnce,” and “psychopath.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “the matter considerable dabate” and “learn good thing.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use a wider range of precise terms for the effects of media, such as “influence viewers’ behaviour” or “desensitise audiences to violence.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “if,” and “so,” which allows you to express reasons and examples. However, these longer structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to sometimes make the reader work to understand the meaning. For example, “technical lesiure has becoming” has an incorrect verb form, while “Some people argue … and do not effect” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “if a child is living … so it will effect that person mind,” the conditional structure and pronoun reference are not controlled. There are also missing articles and inconsistent punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, then extend them with one clear subordinate clause.

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