Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Firstly, Fictual violence in televison will portrayed negatively than positivity in people mindset, because people may always attract to the wrong one very quickly than right, apart from this some people choose wrong one with plenty of confusions. Here, i meant to say that all the thing are depends on a person's personal mind-set and way of thinking.

On one hand, yes the fictual violence portrayed on telivisons is affected the peoples mind set, main reason behind this is, the spectators may thing about to the same thing has shown in it in real life to get a changeover, and they try it in real world which leads cause to some others.

And also by continuing that may harm themselfs too, that is why there are so many psycopaths, brutalmurderers, rapist, psycos..etc. Due thier negative mindset they became cruial to the society, they even don't have a clarity about why am i doing such type of things. Flimmakers also focus mainly on creation of such type of violence to get a soon attraction from people. By contrast, According to statement, "fictional violence encourage violent behaviour", above mentioned characters are made through such type thing but not they were psycos by birth.

On other side, i don't agree completely for the statement,"The fictual violence portrayed on TV's is harm entertainment". Because according to the filmmakers they always wanted to do such type of violence entertainment to get some aware of it and get some informative knowledge from it a particular part of film. Instead of looking in a negative, search for postive. Filmmakers also lots of restrictions to make those violence entertainment. they also mentions,

By concluding, The fictional violence are created in a particular film by fictional characters not by real in existing world. And those are displayes to knowledge purpose only but not to create such type of violence in real world which is obsolutely not accepted by the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides an opinion, though the development of ideas is inconsistent. The arguments regarding the influence of fictional violence are somewhat repetitive and lack specific, well-supported examples. The explanation of the filmmakers' perspective is unclear and lacks logical depth. While the position is identifiable, the reasoning is often obscured by language difficulties, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the argument. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clearly articulated point supported by a concrete example or logical explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by unclear transitions and awkward phrasing. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On one hand' and 'By contrast', but they are often applied incorrectly or in a way that does not accurately reflect the relationship between ideas. The referencing is sometimes ambiguous, particularly when referring back to previous points. The overall structure is present, but the lack of clear, logical progression between sentences makes the text feel disjointed and difficult to follow in several places.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'fictual', 'televisons', 'psycopaths', 'obsolutely') and word-choice inaccuracies (e.g., 'get a soon attraction', 'knowledge purpose'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly, and the repetition of basic terms hinders the sophistication of the argument. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct context, while also paying closer attention to spelling accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('all the thing are depends'), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward sentence structures. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are often poorly constructed and contain errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and quotation marks. The lack of control over basic grammatical structures significantly impacts the clarity of the message throughout the response.

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