Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

It is often argued whether the violence shown on television within a fictional context possess no harm to anyone or tend to encourage people to show violent behaviour. While, it is true that such contents are based on a written storyline and should be taken as a mere entertainment, I disagree with the argument regarding their harmlessness and believe they encourage more people to develop violent tendency.

Violent scenes in movies or films affect people of all range, with slight more influence on younger people who tend to blindly copy whatever they see. Such portrayal can affect them psychologically and encourages such behavior to be a supreme quality any humans should have. However, this can be accommodated by people of all range. For example, in the southern India, after a movie displayed the lead actor beating a sexual offender himself, there were widespread news being reported, where people took over the law and started to have physical altercation with such offenders.

In a stark contrast, there are people who argue such violence on screens to be harmless means to remain entertained and is only based on a written storyline. Since there are different people preferring different genre of entertainment, for those who like action scenes such on screen violence acts as a means to relieve their stress and be refreshed. Directly correlating, fictional violence with reality is not scientific because there may exists people with short temper and violent nature but into heartwarming sitcoms. Furthermore, for the cases that exists connecting violent behaviour with fiction, there may be other hidden reasons such as surrounding they grow up in, domestic issues and being a victim of bullying, which needs to be further addressed.

To sum up, television and its shows should be taken as a source of entertainment and nothing more. Although, there are proponents of the idea that such depiction of fictional violence are harmless citing hidden factors to be the reasons behind violent tendencies, I completely disagree because it indeed encourages violent behaviour mostly among younger audiences and thus should be monitored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. Your position is consistent throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas could be more nuanced. For instance, the example regarding the incident in India is relevant, but the explanation of how fictional violence specifically leads to 'supreme quality' is slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are fully explored and logically connected to your main thesis. Overall, the response is well-structured and directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'In a stark contrast', 'Furthermore', and 'To sum up' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing (e.g., 'such on screen violence' lacks a clear antecedent). Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the two viewpoints. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the flow between sentences is more natural and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proponents', 'depiction', and 'correlating'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'all range' instead of 'all ages' and 'show violent behaviour' instead of 'exhibit violent behaviour'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise collocation. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations and idiomatic expressions would help elevate your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('violence... possess no harm', 'there may exists people') and incorrect article usage. Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly awkward due to these grammatical slips. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex structures are formed accurately. The errors present do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, but they are noticeable.

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