Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that the fictional voilence that is represented on television is a type of entertainment that is harmless,While others argue that it is a dangerous for the society because it encourages aggressive behaviour among the individuals especially teenagers. This essay will examine both views before presenting my own views.

The individuals who advocate that fictional voilence that is seen on tv programmes and movies is a harmless entertainment. This is because people only watches these series for

divert their minds and escape from real world problems, therefore it has no negative impact on people's mindset. For instance, Teenagers watch full action movies late night for excitement and thrilling .

On the other hand, some people believe that voilence should be banned on digital platforms because it ehnaces negative attitude in individuals especially in young adults. Moreover, teenagers become aggressive after watching voilence on screen and they lose their control on their anger. As a result, the online voilence has detrimental effects on society and cultures. For example, Citizens watch murder series including rape and physical abuse then they try to these behaviours in their real life. Consequently, in recent years ratio of murder and rape considerably increase compared to past. In addition, individuals that see on their digital devices have long lasting effects on their mind and they want to experience these things in their life.

In conclusion, Although

voilence played on television is harmless activity because it helps the individuals to divert their minds and relax , it also has negative impact on society and encurage murders and rape cases in society and cultures. Therefore, it should be banned in country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument that violence should be banned is supported by claims about murder and rape rates, but these points are asserted rather than logically explained or supported with nuanced evidence. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it acknowledges the 'harmless' nature of entertainment while simultaneously calling for a total ban. To improve, ensure that your supporting points are fully developed and that your position remains consistent throughout the essay. The response covers all parts of the prompt, but the depth of analysis is more characteristic of a Band 6.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently' are used to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the run-on sentence in the introduction and the fragmented structure in the second paragraph. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the two viewpoints could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would help elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'detrimental' and 'advocate', which is positive. However, there are frequent spelling errors, such as 'voilence' (repeatedly), 'ehnaces', and 'encurage'. Additionally, some word choices are imprecise, such as 'watch full action movies' or 'try to these behaviours'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, these errors and the limited range of vocabulary prevent a higher score. Focusing on accurate spelling and learning collocations (e.g., 'portrayal of violence' rather than 'violence that is represented') will be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people only watches'), article usage (e.g., 'a dangerous for the society'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'they try to these behaviours'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and sentence boundaries. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be distracting. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common grammatical slips before finalising the text.

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