Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A few people thing that on television some fictional violence are shows it is harmless entertainment. Other disagree and think that it is encourage violent behavior. The former and latter both views have their own suggestion. Both the views are discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, same individuals says that fictional violence is the harmless and just for the entertainment of the show to enjoy the people for their good reviews. Adittionally, more and more peoples are watch the fitting shows are now all the youngster have to see the battel seeing in the movies pr video games. Furthermore, now all the movies are based on the any violence see so that encourage peoples to watching those movies with entertainment.

Besides this, other peoples are disagree with this and believes that it encourage the violent behaviour after seeing the fitting scenario they can also do in their practical life by training from the movie so it is harmful to the individuals. However, so many individuals are says that if they go to watch movie with their child than they can watch the violence seen and they can learn bad thing form that movies and tv shows. For example, so many children are doing violence see in their home after watching the movies.

In conclusion, some time it is good for watch the violence see for entertainment but if we a=can do the same thing and learn any kind of violence activity it is harmful to the individuals. In my opinion, I partially agree with both the views for the fictional violence portrayed on the television.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding children imitating violence is mentioned but lacks specific, well-developed examples or logical depth. The position is stated but remains somewhat superficial throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, you should focus on expanding your points with more detailed explanations and concrete illustrations rather than simply restating the same ideas in different ways.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'Furthermore' and 'Besides this'. Some sentences lack logical flow, making it difficult to follow the progression of your argument. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between ideas feels forced. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', and 'things'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'battel seeing' instead of 'violent scenes' and 'fitting shows' instead of 'appropriate programmes'. These inaccuracies occasionally impede the reader's understanding. To improve, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to media and social behaviour and practice using these words in their correct context. Expanding your range beyond simple adjectives will help you express your ideas with more precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('individuals says', 'peoples are watch'), incorrect verb forms, and awkward sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty, which leads to confusion. The punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that tense usage is consistent throughout the text. Proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and article usage will also help.

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