Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that violence portrayed on television through fiction is a kind of harmless entertainment, while others believe that it encourages such behaviour in audiences. Even though the fictional portrayals are made for entertainment purposes, audience always have the interest in demonstrating them in real life situations. So it facilitates harmful behaviour in people and would cause dangerous situations, through molding the minds with such actions as acceptable and for good cause.

The fictional portrayal of violence encourages people in copying them. It is because for centuries people would attracted to the fictional characters or situations and generate ideas depicted in the scenes. And if the violence behaviour is applicable, people would use it without thinking about the other perspective of troubles. In such situations they will be drive by these scenes. For instance, there were homicidal cases where motivation was from some movie scene, which cost a life.

Television portrayal helps in shaping the mind in a negative way. People who watches more violence are shaping their mind as enacting the harmful behaviour in real life is acceptable as it is exhibited through various movies. For example, children who has watch such movies would be structuring their mind and they have a tendency to use such acts in real life. Even older adults know that these portrayals are harmless entertainments, which they would also enjoy, at some point it encourages to role play in real life. There are several such cases reported all over the world.

Thus even the fictional display of violence on television are harmless entertainment, it encourages people to enact them in real life. Because of the strong influence the televisions shows have on people, it encourages people in application level and it influences generalizing them and shaping their mind too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. While you mention that fictional violence can be seen as harmless, you focus almost exclusively on the negative impacts, meaning the 'harmless' side is under-developed. To reach a higher band, ensure that the counter-argument is explored with as much depth as your own position. You provide general examples, such as 'homicidal cases', but these could be more specific or better integrated to support your claims more effectively. The position is consistent throughout the essay, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'For instance', 'Thus', and 'Even though', which help the flow of ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as starting sentences with 'And if' or 'Because of the strong influence'. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear; for example, in the final paragraph, the phrase 'it encourages people in application level' is vague and disrupts the logical progression. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fictional portrayals', 'homicidal cases', and 'enacting'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'demonstrating them in real life' (instead of 'replicating' or 'imitating') and 'application level'. Some phrasing is repetitive, particularly the use of 'shaping their mind' and 'harmless entertainment'. To improve, try to use more precise synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more naturally. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher band scores.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('audience always have', 'children who has watch') and incorrect verb forms ('they will be drive by'). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentence structures are clunky, which affects the clarity of your arguments. While you attempt complex sentences, they are often marred by these persistent errors. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent verb tense usage would significantly improve the accuracy and readability of your work.

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