Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Many individuals believe that watching violence-related movies on television is detrimental to enjoyment. However, some individuals' points of view are different. They argue that it enhances violent behavior in the personality of any persons who are interested in watching these types of movies. From my perspective, violent movies have some negative impact on mental health, such as aggression, anxiety, and depression in children, and reduce empathy towards life.
On hand, argue that violence-related movies have a significant bad impact on personality. It will cause aggression in people's behavior, especially in children. Many children are becoming mentally ill due to excessive watching of violent movies.Children misbehave in their academic places as well as at home.
On the other hand, they are supporters of violent movies.According to them, violent movies have a beneficial role in enjoyment. They indulge them very deeply in every scene. The scripts of the story also develop interest in them.
In my opinion, violent movies should be restricted to certain ages of individuals who are more mature and absorb the aggression. In addition, mental stability is most important. Otherwise, it causes a lot of negative impact on mental health, such as depression, anxiety, and less empathy towards society. A lot of children are facing behavior issues in their homes as well as schools due to these violent movies.Furthermore, they do not play a positive role in society, especially reducing empathy.
In conclusion, violence movies are beneficial for mentally mature people because they can easily digest the aggression. They just take it as movies and entertainment. However, violence movies are not good for teenagers. It develops aggression, depression, anxiety, and other behavioral issues.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'beneficial role' of violent movies is quite brief and lacks specific examples or deeper analysis. While the position is consistent, the supporting points are repetitive, particularly the focus on children's mental health, which is mentioned in almost every paragraph. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on the 'why' and 'how' of your arguments with more nuanced reasoning rather than restating the same points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is occasionally hindered by mechanical transitions. Phrases like 'On hand' (which should be 'On one hand') and the abrupt start to sentences make the flow feel disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', they are sometimes used in a repetitive manner. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun 'they' in the second paragraph, which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly improve the coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'bad impact' and 'enjoyment' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'digest the aggression' and 'academic places' (instead of 'school' or 'educational settings'). While your meaning is clear, the range of vocabulary is limited to common words. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise synonyms to express your ideas more sophisticatedly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include missing articles ('in academic places'), incorrect preposition usage, and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'they are supporters of violent movies' is grammatically weak). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods in several instances. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall clarity. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will help you achieve a higher score.
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