Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some persons say that the violence showed in television content is harmless enjoyment, while the others say the opposite that it increases the violent tendences.

Some say violence which is portrayed in tv is just for the fictional part and does not affect the watcher, it is true why because most of the people watch tv as an entertainment and not all of them turn out to be a vigilante or a killer.

For example, kids watch many cartoon in tv. like for exam my cousin watched a show called tom and jerry daily in tv, the show involves a cat named tom tries to attack and eat a rat like being call jerry. Most of the show portrays the violent tricks tom tries to catch the jerry, but my cousin enjoys the show rather than showing any violent tendences.

And the other people are also so true, why because when people watch something entertaining they try to replicate it. So, television gives us access to many kinds of media like movies, tv shows, sports etc. People expose to a lot of violent content in these movies and shows, it might not effect them totally but they do definitely raise a idea of "what if we do the same" in everybody's mind. 99% of the people brush it off but what if the remaining 1% try to do it in real life? in the process of trying to do same what they watched in tv, they might harm themselves even worse they might hurt others in the process of doing so.

They might do actions which they regret.

for example, a kid from northern part of India used play aa game called PUBG, its survival game where you have too shoot and kill other players and survive till the end of the game.

When the parents learnt that he was spending most of the time playing this game they locked away his console and tv which he plays in. The kid whose console taken away, tried to kill his parents in their sleep to get his things back, but luckily the parents woke up before it happened.

overall, in the debate of if the virtual violence in Tv is encouraging harmful act or not, i personally disagree because i do myself spend a lot of time in tv and never felt any violent urges to do anything harmful, some might do but the percentage of them are quite low.

So, in my opinion the fictional violence portrayed is tv harmless

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of cartoons and the PUBG example. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument for the 'harmless' side is supported by personal anecdote, while the 'harmful' side relies on a specific, somewhat extreme example. To reach a higher band, you should aim to develop your points with more balanced, analytical reasoning rather than relying solely on personal experience or isolated news stories. The position is consistent, but the conclusion could be more nuanced to reflect the complexity of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'why because', 'for example', 'overall'). There are instances where the logical flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as the transition into the PUBG example. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the paragraphing could be more effectively used to separate the two opposing views more distinctly. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You use some basic terms repeatedly, such as 'violence', 'show', and 'people'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'violent tendences' (tendencies) and 'the show involves a cat named tom tries to attack'. While the meaning is clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and the presence of minor errors in word formation limit the score. To improve, try to incorporate more academic synonyms and collocations related to media and social behavior.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the show involves a cat... tries to attack'), article usage (e.g., 'in tv'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While you attempt complex structures, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms before attempting more complex grammatical patterns.

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