Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are numerous conversations about The fictional violence portrayed on television . Some individuals consider it as a harmless behaviour additionally, others things the opposite. However , from my perspective it increases violent behaviour. We can’t assume it as a harmless event . It increases people’s curiosity therefore, they try to do it in real life. Which leads us to domination, violation and increase harmful activity to our society. It leads more harm than it promises someone to provide entertainment . Human developed a eager urge to try those scenes in real life which leads them to cruelty. Once they commit it they gain their confidence and never hold back from there doings . Nevertheless we should not support a dangerous person. It mainly shows for only entertainment but unfortunately it opens the door for violation. Some individuals tries recreate the scenery and end up getting hurt or hurting others. Which can also lead one to crime. We should only take fictional violence as a entertainment . Furthermore we should never adapt it in our real life in order to protect ourselves from getting any harm moreover, we should just take it as a fictional scenario.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 196 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas, as the discussion remains superficial and lacks specific examples or depth. While you acknowledge both views and state a clear position, the arguments are repetitive and lack the necessary elaboration required for a higher band. To improve, you must expand on your points with concrete examples and ensure you address all parts of the prompt with sufficient detail to meet the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay lacks proper paragraphing, which is essential for a clear logical progression. The text is presented as a single block, making it difficult for the reader to follow the transition between the two opposing views and your own opinion. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'however', 'therefore', and 'furthermore', they are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The flow of ideas is somewhat repetitive, and the lack of clear paragraph breaks hinders the overall structure of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'harmless behaviour', 'violent behaviour', and 'real life'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'doings' instead of 'actions' and 'violation' used in a context where 'violence' or 'aggression' would be more appropriate. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of topic-specific vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentences, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Some individuals tries', 'Human developed a eager urge') and punctuation, particularly with the misuse of commas and spaces before punctuation marks. The sentence structure is often fragmented or repetitive. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on mastering basic grammatical rules, such as pluralization and verb tense consistency, and practice constructing more varied, error-free complex sentences.

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