Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, crime rate increases all over the world. Some people believe that fictional violence shows on television is harmless entertainment. While, other peoples believe that it encourages violent behavior. In my opinion, i strongly believe that it increase crime behavior. This essay will discuss both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint.

On the one hand, peoples shows and crime related movies on theater and internet. It shows the murder or crime related scenes. In additional, it is teach peoples to how to do crime and get success in it. Nowadays, people try movies scenes in real life, so it becomes a problem for every peoples. Such as, it shows how people rapidly get offend for little things, also how people murdered for significant money. People show this kind of activity and their mindset apply this things practically.

On the other hand, people says it encourages violent behavior and crime rate. It is a not good things to harm someone without strong arguments. Moreover, people get offend early in little thins and do something that are unnecessary things. Example, if we are walking on street and by chance we get some kind of arguments, so people do fighting with them. It is because Hollywood industry shows most of movies related to fight and crime.

In my view of point, governments should have to banning movies related tom full of crime because it is impact too much on humans mind.

In conclusions, we have to see crime related movies but we do not have to apply on real life because it is our loss. Violence serves may as harmless not entertainment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For example, the argument that television teaches people how to commit crimes is stated but not supported with logical reasoning or specific, convincing examples. The essay tends to over-generalize, such as claiming that 'every people' are affected by movie scenes. While the task is addressed, the lack of depth and the somewhat confused conclusion prevent a higher score. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack the necessary nuance and academic rigor required for higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In additional' and 'In my view of point' are non-standard and disrupt the flow. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition between the influence of movies and the impact on 'every peoples' is unclear. Referencing is also inconsistent, making it difficult to track the subject matter clearly throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'people', 'crime', and 'things'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'get offend' instead of 'get offended' and 'do fighting' instead of 'engage in fighting'. The student attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the lack of precision and the persistent errors in word formation (e.g., 'peoples' used as a plural of person) hinder the overall quality. The range is sufficient to communicate the basic message but lacks the flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are frequently marred by grammatical errors, such as 'It is a not good things to harm someone' and 'governments should have to banning'. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, as seen in 'crime rate increases' and 'it is impact'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequent grammatical slips mean that the reader must occasionally re-read to understand the intended meaning. A wider range of error-free complex structures is needed to reach a higher band.

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