Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, a fictional violence becomes the crucial part of our societies. Thoughts of many people related to the fictional violence is very disallowed and negative around the world. However, many of them thinks that violated content helps people to learn how they handle or tackle these type of social challenges in their lives. In this essay, I will discuss both of the thoughts and also explain that why i said that violated and harmless content is not good media show.

On the one hand, people thinks that violated, scared or sexual content is very harmful and create negative impact on our society especially for young generation. Children watch this type of content and they can catch up this type of unusual activities in their mind and they acts as it is at home, which is not good for them, in which some of them are teenager and they got scared after watching this type of violated content.

On the other hand, some people thinks that this type of violated content is good for us because we should have to learn or watch this type of acts or entertainment, it helps in our daily life and helps in this type of critical situations. Many of them thought that their children should watch this type of acts for surviving their life better and in a brave way. For instance, children after watching this type of content able to protect them and be confident for handling social challenges.

According to my opinion, violated content is harmful for under eighteen peoples because in this age children learn the way of life and keep growing in the positive and successful way and very far from the daily life tensions and social challenges.

In conclusion, violated content is helpful or usual when child become mature and easily understand the problems and conditions of life and may be passionate to survive in this situations like a gentleman.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that violence is harmful to children and potentially beneficial for 'surviving' life, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. The conclusion is slightly confusing as it contradicts your earlier stance by suggesting that violent content is 'helpful' for mature individuals, which was not fully explored in the body paragraphs. To improve, ensure your supporting points are logically expanded and that your position remains consistent throughout the entire essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'this type of acts'). The transition between the body paragraphs and the conclusion could be smoother to ensure a more logical progression of ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to previous nouns will enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is repetitive. You frequently use the word 'violated' (which is grammatically incorrect in this context; 'violent' is the correct adjective) and 'content'. There is a lack of precision in word choice, such as using 'catch up' to mean 'imitate' or 'absorb'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'desensitization', 'aggressive behavior', or 'media regulation', and ensure that you use words in their correct grammatical form.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people thinks', 'children... they acts') and article usage. Sentence structures are mostly simple or compound, with limited attempts at complex sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and word formation (e.g., 'under eighteen peoples') impact the overall fluency. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural forms will significantly improve your score. Try to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or conditional sentences, to demonstrate greater grammatical control.

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