Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A segment of society belives that fictional shows which portray violence on TV are harmless entertainment. While, others believe that it encourage violent behaviour in children. Fictional shows are the source of entertainment for children. It is upto the children what they depict from the show. This essay will discuss both views in the following passages.
Fictional shows either violent or non-violent are made for entertainment purpose only. Majority of the children like to watch fictional shows involving action. It is upto the children what they might learn from it. Even the fiction shows which show fight sequence give good message to the children. For example, Shiva a cartoon show in it there is a child fighting against villains to protect people around him and the law. It not only give children message that they should fight against anything wrong but also teachs them a sense of justice which will help them become better human in the future.
Children are in a stage where they find anything they see amazing interesting. Seeing excessive fighting scene in fictional programs on TV will encourage them to fight with others after losing any verbal argument. This is because they want to become like the characters shown in the shows and want to do the same stunts as them.For example, according to survey by chinese goverment children watch voilent fictional shows are more likely to get in fight compared other children.
In conclusion, fictional programs give both positive and negative message to the children it is upto them which message they decide to take.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, though the opinion is somewhat underdeveloped. The response covers the task requirements, but the development of ideas is limited. For instance, the argument regarding the positive influence of fictional violence is supported by a specific example (Shiva), which is good, but the counter-argument lacks depth. The conclusion is quite brief and does not fully synthesize the points discussed. To improve, ensure that your personal opinion is more clearly articulated and supported with further reasoning rather than just stating it is 'up to the children'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the sentence 'While, others believe...' uses 'While' incorrectly as a transition at the start of a sentence. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'compared other children', where a preposition is missing. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') would help the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'what they depict from the show' (should be 'derive' or 'take away') and 'fight sequence' (should be 'fight sequences'). The use of 'amazing interesting' is redundant and unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express your ideas more fluently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('it encourage', 'it not only give', 'teachs them'), missing articles ('according to survey', 'by chinese goverment'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the quality of your writing.
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