Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The fictional violence portrayed on television and social media content is harmful entertainment to those audiences who are immature kids and teenagers. While other believes it is fictional, for that reason, it will not affect their behavior.

People who grow up in a violent situation usually become violent, criminal, or victims. Psychologists prove that the human brain works repetitively, and if people see or do things again and again, it will affect their unconscious mind. That means kids who grow up in a violent situation they unconscious mind receive that violence as well as their daily routine, familiar things. On the one hand, violence and criminal scenes portrayed in television shows, movies, and content will affect kids and teenagers' immature conscious mind; they might think of that violence is part of regular life, and it can happen occasionally. These harmful thoughts will lead them to real-life criminal situations, and when they grow up, step into adult life they might bear that unwanted, violent condition and pain. Moreover, kids who are watching animations and cartoons that contain violent subjects like Tom and Jery, Masha and Bear, can act violent person. For example, they hit each other, hurt somebody, and bite people and other unsuitable behaviors in school and kindergarten.

On the other hand, some people should understand that criminal and violent portraits are for entertainment purposes, and people like to watch those genres of movies and shows. They love to watch people overcome many obstacles, defeat their hard, violent life.

Therefore, filmmakers and television producers should assign age limits to their television shows, movies and content. In addition, parents and guardians should monitor what kind of content their children watch.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding the negative impact of violence is supported with examples like cartoons, but the counter-argument—that violence is merely entertainment—is underdeveloped and lacks depth. The essay would benefit from a more balanced exploration of why some people view fictional violence as harmless, perhaps by discussing the role of parental guidance or the distinction between reality and fantasy more thoroughly. The position is clear throughout, but the depth of analysis is limited, which prevents it from reaching a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Moreover,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences within paragraphs is occasionally disjointed. For instance, the transition from the discussion of psychologists to the specific examples of cartoons is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and better referencing to connect ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'unconscious mind,' 'immature conscious mind,' and 'filmmakers.' However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'act violent person' instead of 'act violently' or 'behave in a violent manner.' Additionally, the repetition of the word 'violent' and 'violence' throughout the text suggests a limited range of synonyms. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and a broader range of academic vocabulary to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'While other believes' (subject-verb agreement), 'they unconscious mind receive' (incorrect pronoun usage), and 'that violence is part of regular life' (missing article or preposition). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with sentence boundaries and comma usage. The student demonstrates an attempt at complex structures, but the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy.

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