Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
Fictional violence is the pretend or imaginary use of physical force. It is usually seen on TV, drama, and movies.
the fictional violence on television is harm and it reflect the violent which do bad effect upon the mindset of society the people of such society react as a violent because they have been feed on television
one of the main reason is the children as they are the most vulnerable in society and effect badly with fiction violence whenever it has injuncted in their mind the will react the same
while on the other side it is one of the best way for entertainment that the people entertained and see the movies as its seen doing in actual
the fictional violence is one of the sign of obeying as the elder people control their children from fictional violence its one of the good sign
in my point of view the fictional violence should not be portrayed on television it has phycological effect upon human mind set whenever the people see such actions as its fictional but they applied in society in real which will not do a good effect on society so it must be stopped
Such type of violence must be stopped to share as it effect the human being very badly the society of such type of people will wil react in actuallly
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to address both sides of the argument and provide a personal opinion, the ideas are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. The arguments are repetitive and lack the depth required for an academic essay. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and ensure that each paragraph contributes to a well-structured argument. The position is clear, but the lack of elaboration prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay lacks a clear logical progression. Paragraphing is inconsistent and does not effectively separate the different viewpoints or the introduction and conclusion. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas, making the text feel disjointed. For example, the transition between the discussion of children and the entertainment aspect is abrupt. To improve, use linking words such as 'furthermore', 'however', 'consequently', and 'in contrast' to guide the reader through your argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'bad', 'good', and 'people'. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and word formation, such as 'injuncted' instead of 'ingrained' or 'imprinted', and 'obeying' used in an unclear context. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to media and psychology, and try to use more precise synonyms to avoid repetition. Work on using words in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it reflect the violent'), sentence structure (e.g., 'the people of such society react as a violent'), and punctuation. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, making them difficult to follow. There is a very limited range of complex structures, and the attempts at them are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subjects and verbs agree, and using correct tense forms. Proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization is also essential.
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