Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
These days more and more imaginary violence are being transmitted in different TV channels. They are those who say that, functional aggression presenting on broadcasting media is not detrimental entertainment. However, others contradict and believe that, it encourages threatening behavior. in this essay I will discuss both view as fer as I am concerned about the latter notion.
To instigate, imaginary violences is not harmful because it is not real. This is simply, there are always have some disclaimers about the movie of video clips while transmitting those program. On the other hand, it is often said to do not practice this type of activity at home of in real life. For example, some disclaimers mention that, “No animal was harmed or killed during this shooting. Thus, displaying such videos are the purpose of fun and entertainment other than danger.
Despite these argument, the why a number of individuals believe that fictional violence encourages violent behaviour. This is why, some people think that, it portrays about the technique of violence. For instance, a few juveniles are prone to apply this type of phenomena in their friend circle or the public places. If that particular young people watch the program then they would have urge to apply the pattern. Hence, the society will be survive in the situation of daunting.
In conclusion, although most of the movie and drama have such kind of fighting scenes for entertainment, I believe that, media should think about the unexpected consequence of transmitting those content.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The arguments regarding disclaimers and the imitation of violence are relevant but lack depth and specific, real-world examples beyond general statements. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points discussed. To improve, you should expand on your reasoning with more detailed explanations or concrete evidence to support your claims, ensuring that the connection between the arguments and the prompt is more robust.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion', to link sections. However, some transitions are awkward or misused, such as 'To instigate' (which is not a standard transition) and 'Despite these argument' (which contains a grammatical error). Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, making the flow feel slightly mechanical. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help the essay read more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'imaginary violence' is used where 'fictional violence' would be more natural, and 'functional aggression' is an incorrect collocation. Phrases like 'daunting' are used incorrectly in context. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the lack of precision and occasional misuse of words limit your score. Focus on learning collocations and using words in their correct context to enhance your lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('imaginary violences is'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction ('This is simply, there are always have some disclaimers'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. You should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and pluralization.
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