Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Fictional violence displayed on television is become a serious issue. It creates harmless approach for children's.

Because of some action and violent characters. That attract children's. This essay will argue that this type pf violent entertainment creates some serious issues.

Firstly, many children's idealize these characters and they image themselves on those characters. That makes parents frustrated. They become violent and want to follow there favorite characters but actually because of this violence they become more aggressive. Their mindset is aggressive, violent and bad for their close one's.

In addition, people are generally more focused in these fictional violence and that's why their thinking was totally change. They are less calm and composed. They like these type of characters and television entertainment than less violent fictional series and characters.

Finally, the fictional violence became normal and more television screens are targeting that people could watch more this fictional violence on television because they get more viewership and earn more money. They portrayed this type of violence because people like especially children's are more obsessed than adults. So, in this way they earn more money and people are more watching this type of aggressive and more harmful characters. They become more normal and a serious threat for the people.

In conclusion, fictional violence portrayed on television is having negative effects on people and they are becoming more aggressive, sharp and violent. If we allow people to watch this type of violent characters it will be a concern in future. Because they are targeting the young youth. So we need to be careful.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument, but the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. While you mention that some see violence as harmless and others see it as harmful, the explanation lacks depth and specific examples. The position is clear, but the arguments are somewhat circular, focusing heavily on the negative impact without fully exploring the 'harmless entertainment' perspective. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct, well-supported point rather than restating the same general idea about aggression. The conclusion is present but does not fully synthesize the two views discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, starting sentences with 'Because of...' or 'That makes...' creates fragmented ideas rather than smooth transitions. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'that people' or 'that type of characters,' which makes the flow of information choppy. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' 'in contrast') and ensure that pronouns clearly refer back to the intended nouns.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of words like 'violence,' 'aggressive,' and 'characters.' Some word choices are unnatural, such as 'creates harmless approach' or 'image themselves on those characters.' There are also frequent errors in word form and collocation, such as 'young youth' (redundant) and 'close one's' (incorrect apostrophe usage). To improve, try to use synonyms and learn common collocations related to media and social behavior.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'is become,' 'thinking was totally change'), incorrect pluralization (e.g., 'children's' instead of 'children'), and misuse of articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the unnecessary use of apostrophes in plural nouns. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of basic errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement.

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