Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people argue that voilence portrays through fictional characters is not harmful, while others argue that it can promote voilence. In my opinion, violenece can be encouraged through television because it can influence people negatively and promote bad habits.
On one hand, some people believe that fictional voilence is harmful because it can effect people's characters badly and can produce bad habits. Showing aggressive behaviour of the main characters in dramas and movies can leave a negative impact on people's mind especially children. Consequently, they observe those behaviours and can imitate them. Moreover, children can consider voilence an appropriate way to solve problems and conflicts. Furthermore, these characters caan promote bad habits such as, rudeness, fighting and aggressiveness. For instance, many Pakistani dramas show aggressive personality of heroes, which can influence children's mind.
On the other hand, some people consider that fictional voilence cannot effect society. People can distinguish between illusionary and real characters, which make them strong headed. Additionally, people learn through social experiences, education and real-life interactions. However, voilent behaviours can affect people personalities, because they appreciate their dominance without worrying about consequences. In my opinion, dramas should portray voilence in different way for showing it's drawbacks.
In conclusion, this essay agrees with the point that voilence shows though dramas can have bad influence on children's mind by producing bad habits, while some people think it cannot affect the society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of development. While the main ideas are relevant, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples to fully explore the complexities of the topic. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations and ensure you meet the minimum word count to allow for a more comprehensive discussion of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' to link your points. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure feels a bit formulaic. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the transition between your arguments and your personal opinion is more seamless.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat limited and repetitive. You frequently misspell 'violence' as 'voilence' and 'violent' as 'voilent' throughout the text. There is also a reliance on basic vocabulary like 'bad habits' and 'bad influence'. While you attempt to use some topic-specific language, the recurring spelling errors and the lack of more sophisticated collocations or academic vocabulary hinder your score. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of key topic words and try to incorporate more precise synonyms to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'fictional violence portrayed' (instead of 'portrayed'), 'can effect' (should be 'affect'), and 'dramas should portray violence in different way' (missing article). Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the unnecessary comma in 'such as, rudeness'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and the distinction between 'affect' and 'effect'.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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