Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In contemporary society, a significant discourse revolves around the issue of that the fictional violence portrayed on TV is a normal entertainment. some people argue that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment, while other hold the view that it encourages violent behaviour. Although both sides present valid arguments, I personally content that it is not a harmful entertainment, because individual can take benefit from TV to enjoy the entertainment movies, or stories of some famous funny actors.
There are numerous reasons why some individuals support the idea that Portrayed on TV is not bad entertainment. Primarily, one of the most substantial arguments is that some people was used television not for entertainment but for the things that is harmful for society. For example, watching audulates movies and videos. Thus, it is evidence that television is not bad to used for entertainment.
On the other hand, others firmly believe that it encourages violent behaviour. They argue that it will inforce individuals to behave on violent way. Moreover, many people are agree that their children will watch the TV for not just entertainment but also to seek some formal things for example that how to meet with elders, how to stay calm in a stressful situation, etc.
Lastly, in my point of view, watching movies, dramas, or a film series is harmless for either children and for adults. While I acknowledge the benefits of fictional violence portrayed on television, I believe that entertainment is a good things for us to be fresh, and tension free. Because it provides many advantages to us like to feel other happiness as well as to understand their face mode in various situation.
In conclusion, although there are convincing arguments on both side regarding portrayed on television, I believe that it will beneficial for us in many aspects of life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments provided are somewhat repetitive and lack depth; for instance, the claim that TV is 'not bad' because people watch 'audulates movies' is unclear and does not directly address the prompt regarding fictional violence. The reasoning remains superficial throughout, and the connection between the examples provided and the core issue of violence is weak. To improve, you should provide more specific, logical examples that directly support your stance on whether fictional violence influences behavior or serves as harmless entertainment.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In contemporary society' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the internal flow within paragraphs is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt, and the logical progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive sentence structures. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'normal entertainment', 'inforce individuals', and 'face mode'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and the essay relies on basic, repetitive terms. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, such as 'depiction of violence' instead of 'fictional violence portrayed', and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some people was used', 'many people are agree'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'it will inforce', 'it will beneficial'), and missing articles or prepositions. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, to ensure your sentences are error-free.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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