Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is apparent that social media and online entertainment is increasing massively due to the advancement in technology. On that note, a few number of people argued that the fictional violence on television is significantly beneficial, while other believe that it has some adverse impacts. This essay will highlights both the views as well as my opinion will also be presented further.
There are several reason justifying the former view. The most prominent one is its reality. To illustrates, a lot number of movies which promote violence or aggressive behavior are just for entertainment purpose and storytelling. Consequently, it not address any harmful or negative impact on particular society. Apart from this, people not initiate any crime just by watching such violent or high fighting movies. For example, there are numerous movies that include considerable violent slots, but there is no proper evidence that people run towards any kind of commitment related to it. Thus, This view delineates that violent telecasting not have any adverse effects.
On the other side, there are several compelling reasons that supports later view. One major concern is the negative impact on youngsters and children. Many students try to initiate several negative activities which are promoted or displayed by movies or televisions. As a result, they can ran towards crime activities such as theft and many other. Moreover, it can affect negatively on people who are suffering from several mental health issues and pressures. For example, a study found that people who are suffering from mental disabilities have more crucial impact on their brain as the can lost their memory or be negative. Therefore, several people disagree from this trend.
To conclude, Although there are several benefits associated with violent behavior such as highly entertained movies and reality, I firmly believe that it has more adverse impact on any society because of negative encouragement and mental disorders.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'reality' of movies is underdeveloped and lacks a clear logical link to why this makes violence harmless. The second body paragraph attempts to discuss the negative impacts but relies on vague assertions, such as 'they can ran towards crime activities,' without providing specific, well-reasoned examples. To reach a higher band, you should focus on extending your arguments with more detailed explanations and concrete, logical evidence rather than general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other side,' 'Moreover,' and 'To conclude,' which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'On that note' in the introduction, which does not fit the context. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences lack smooth transitions between ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices or incorrect collocations, such as 'a lot number of movies,' 'violent slots,' and 'commitment related to it.' You also repeat basic vocabulary like 'movies' and 'television' frequently. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations, such as 'depictions of violence' instead of 'violent slots,' and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate to convey your meaning more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('a few number of people argued,' 'violent telecasting not have'), incorrect verb forms ('To illustrates,' 'they can ran'), and missing articles. While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading your work to correct subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency, as these are fundamental to achieving a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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