Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Introduction:

Some peoples says that the violence protrayed on the television is harmless entertainment.I Disagree with this statement.I just think it is just for entertainment purposes.

Main body paragraph 1:

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment.I think it is harmfull only for children and i think it can causes effect for childrens because childrens do not mature and it is quite dangerous to see the fictional violence portrayed on television.

for example there is a children watching a fighting movie in television and when they completely watch the movie they try to fight with everyone it is

just because children can imitate what they see. When they watch fighting or violent scenes repeatedly, they may copy the characters' behaviour because they are still developing their understanding of what is acceptable in real life.

So i think that watching the fighting and violence scene is dangerous for children. On the other hand it is not dangerous for men and women it is just because they are mature they just see the violence and fighting scene just for entertainment and they know the actual reality that they are are acting and it is not real.

Main body paragraph 2:

Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.I donot agree with this statement it is just for the entertainment but peoples think that it encourages violent behaviour.

For example many of the childrens are watching the boxing and when they completely see the boxing they try to fight with other it causes the effect to but its a parent responsibility to tell to our children that you are watching is not real, and when the children understand that they do not fight with other they know that it is not real.

Conclusion:

According to my opinion children watch the fighting and violence videos just for entertainment because it make me relax and more comfortable.And its parent resposibility to tell to the children that you are watching is not real, than the children understand and can not take fight serious.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, though the development is inconsistent. While you identify the impact of violence on children, the argument regarding adults is less developed. The conclusion is somewhat contradictory, as you state that watching violence makes you 'relax' after previously arguing it is dangerous for children. To improve, ensure your position is consistent throughout the essay and that each viewpoint is supported by clear, logical reasoning rather than repetitive statements. The structure follows the prompt, but the depth of analysis needs to be more balanced to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often disrupted by repetitive phrasing and a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices. You rely heavily on simple connectors like 'for example' and 'so', and some transitions between sentences are abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where the link between the example of boxing and the conclusion is disjointed. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'nevertheless') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You frequently repeat basic words like 'children', 'violence', 'fighting', and 'entertainment'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'causes effect for childrens' and 'take fight serious'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic synonyms and collocations. For instance, instead of 'fighting movie', use 'action-packed films' or 'violent media content'. Expanding your vocabulary will help you express your ideas with more nuance and authority.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Some peoples says'), pluralisation errors ('childrens'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing spaces after periods. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors limits the score. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that plurals are used correctly, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.