Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argue that the fictional fights telecasted on television is harmless, while others believe that it encourages violent behaviour. Both perspective have their own merits. this essay will examine both viewpoints before explaining why I believe that fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless is more convincing.
on the one hand, those who support fictional violence is good entertainment argue that the fictional fights and action scenes are one of the most significant part of entertainment. The argue that removing these fictional action from entertainment will have very tremendous affect in television industry. which means that those people who watches television just to get entertain from fights and action drama. They will lose its interest towards television. For example, WWE is a popular show around the globe, totally based on fictional violence and ending the show will affect many of its hardcore fans who don't miss any matches. Although the opposing argument has some validity, fictional shows or movies are significant part or entertainment.
On the other hand, opponents of this view think that fictional violence encourages violent behaviour. They believe that nowadays crime rates has increased because people usually try to commit crimes like robbery or murder inspired by the fictional movies. This can be illustrated by an incidence happened last month in our town, Robbers tried to rob a bank during daylight exactly shown in a movie from Bollywood named Dhoom. Moreover, I believe that fictional violence in movies and entertainment show has extremely increased and should be controlled to reduce the consiquences.
In conclusion, both sides of this debate have their own merits. Nevertheless, I believe that Fictional violence followed to a limit is not harm-full.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding the television industry is repetitive, and the example provided about the bank robbery is anecdotal and lacks sufficient depth to fully support the claim. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more thoroughly extended to reach a higher band. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand', but some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'which means that those people who watches television'. Additionally, there are some issues with referencing, particularly in the second paragraph where the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the final conclusion is very short, which impacts the overall balance of the structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'telecasted' (broadcast), 'tremendous affect' (significant effect), and 'consiquences' (spelling error). The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles with collocations. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and the presence of errors in word formation and spelling prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. More precise academic vocabulary would improve the quality of the arguments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('fictional fights... is', 'crime rates has increased') and incorrect sentence fragments ('Which means that...'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters mid-sentence and missing commas. While the student attempts complex structures, the high frequency of basic errors in grammar and syntax suggests that the control over complex forms is not yet consistent.
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