Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
many people. believes that the fictional violence to show in the television it would be harmless for the entertainment. other people are not agree with this statement and they believe that inspires the violent behaviour. its nice hope of the individuals for the fictional violence to do any protest.
to begin with, nowadays the people are ported against their requirements for from the governments they doing through the books , newspaper and televisions etc. its beneficial for the local residential and nation also because if they will protest on the roads and behind the homes and offices of the politicians it not good for all the nation. For example, nowadays farmers are protest agains the government because they are not providing the MSP on the cultivations they are protested on the roads cause of it roads are totally blocked not a single person can travel on the protesting roads. So, it's a correct way for the fictional violence.
to commence with, some people are thinking about thefictional violence portrayed on the televisions motivated to the violence behaviour because some people are printing and casting their non sensible things on the books and televisions it can be bad impact on the younsters or small children who reads the books daily and watching the news on the television daily with their parents at home.
to conclude, all people have a right to do violence and proved against their needs but there has some restrictions of the governments people should understand the restrictions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the core topic of fictional violence on television. Instead, the essay shifts to a discussion about political protests and the rights of citizens to protest against governments. The prompt asks for a discussion on whether fictional violence is harmless or encourages real-world aggression. By focusing on farmers and political demonstrations, the essay becomes largely irrelevant to the task. While a position is attempted, the lack of focus on the actual prompt means the ideas are not developed in relation to the question asked. The response is tangential throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic paragraphing, but the logical progression is severely hampered by the off-topic content. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices such as 'to begin with' and 'to conclude', they are used mechanically and do not effectively link the ideas to the prompt. The relationship between the paragraphs is unclear, and the transition from the topic of fictional violence to political protests is abrupt and confusing. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly. Phrases like 'non sensible things' and 'ported against their requirements' are awkward and do not convey the intended meaning clearly. There is a reliance on basic, repetitive vocabulary, and the word choice often leads to confusion. The student struggles to use appropriate terminology related to the topic of media influence or social behavior. The errors in word choice and collocation are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding of the intended message.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many people. believes'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'its nice hope of the individuals for the fictional violence to do any protest.' The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, which further complicates the reading process. The frequency of errors is high, often distorting the intended meaning.
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