Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is often argue that the fictional violence that showed on television is a inoffensive entertainment. While others believe that it is harmful and encourage people for violent behaviors. While there are valid arguments on both sides but I think that it does not affects people actions because all scenes are not real . This essay will examine both arguments and my view with relevant examples before reaching a logical conclusion.
On the one hand, people watch television as a part of entertainment. Some people watch it for getting instead news and enjoy free times. But most people love to enjoy imaginary violence especially films and movies. They just watch it for a mean of amusement. There is no connection with this scenes in real life. Such as kids and young adults watch marvel movies and these movies all scenes are imaginary which is clearly noticeable for everyone. They just like the character and pass their time. For instance, public also watch romantic and thriller movies but there is no evidence exist that these kinds of movies affect people's behaviors.
On the other hand, there are several reasons why people think that it has side effects on individuals attitudes. One of the main reason is that it mainly affect on child behaviors. Because few children thought that the scenes are real and they also do the same in real life. Therefore, it causes serious accidents which is a negative development. Besides, the actions that showed on series or in movies some dishonest and dangerous people try in real life to kill their enemies. For instance, crime petrol is one of them. To be honest crime petrol is a show which is mainly for create awareness among public but very few are use it for crime.
In conclusion, although both perspective have their own merits but I believe that fictional v
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph attempts to explain why fictional violence is harmless, the reasoning is repetitive and lacks depth. The second body paragraph introduces the opposing view but relies on vague examples like 'crime petrol' without fully explaining the causal link between media consumption and real-world behavior. The essay is also incomplete, as it cuts off mid-sentence in the conclusion, which prevents a full synthesis of the arguments. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and fully developed supporting evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'But most people love to enjoy imaginary violence' is informal, and 'Such as kids and young adults' is grammatically incorrect as a linking phrase. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. The abrupt ending significantly impacts the overall coherence of the piece, as the final argument is left unresolved. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would help the ideas progress more logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'inoffensive entertainment' instead of 'harmless entertainment' and 'getting instead news'. The phrase 'mean of amusement' is an incorrect collocation for 'means of amusement'. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'fictional violence' and 'behavioral development', these are often undermined by basic errors in word form and usage. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic collocations would enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it does not affects', 'there is no evidence exist') and article usage (e.g., 'a inoffensive entertainment'). Sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity, such as 'Because few children thought that the scenes are real'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. To reach a higher band, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that complex sentences are formed correctly without fragmenting the meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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