Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is considered by some individuals that the violence role-play shown on the television is a non-threatening entertainment. While it is argued by some people that the fabricated brutality displayed on the television motivate physical assault. This essay break down the two points before i give my own perspective.

Mature entertainment viewers often see the aggression shown on television as fun sometimes, the emotions that comes with the brutality such as anger,tears and pain are what triggers them to watching even more of the show. They often see the physical assault as imaginary and it is safe and mostly taken as fun. Sometimes it is displayed on the television show that "the violence shown is only for entertainment purposes and should not be tried at home" giving warning to the public not to engage in such activities.

Fabricated aggression displayed on the television has most effect on immature viewers . they usually take whatever they see on television as something they can try to express. psychologically children usually learn from what they see, whenever they watch the aggression on the television , they usually try it and sometimes think that it is a way to respond to everyday conflict. Immature viewers take the fabricated brutality they see on the television too extreme as they tend to hurt themselves and other people,

in conclusion, i think the entertainment industry and also the authorities to pay attention on the viewers of this fictional assault and and also have a general age rating for such shows.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that mature viewers see violence as entertainment and children are negatively influenced, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to fully meet the requirements of a higher band. The introduction is a bit weak, as it does not clearly outline your position from the start. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provides more substantial evidence or reasoning to support your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. There are also issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the fragmented sentence 'they usually take whatever they see on television as something they can try to express.' Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') would help the flow of your arguments significantly. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively managed to separate distinct ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, but the control is inconsistent. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'violence role-play' instead of 'fictional violence' and 'fabricated brutality' which is used repeatedly. Some phrases are slightly unnatural, such as 'emotions that comes with the brutality'. To reach a higher band, try to use more precise academic vocabulary and avoid repeating the same phrases. Focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—rather than just individual synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, there are subject-verb agreement issues ('the emotions that comes', 'the entertainment industry and also the authorities to pay attention'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., 'anger,tears'). The sentence 'This essay break down the two points before i give my own perspective' contains a tense error and a lowercase 'i'. You need to focus on proofreading your work to correct these basic errors and ensure your complex sentences are constructed accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.