Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In, my opinion every type of violence is harmful. There are many people who watch television and learn violence. In our society there are both type of people those who encourage and discourage the fictional violence. I discourage showing the fictional violence because there are many cases which are ouccring day by day on media. However, people learn wrong things from television and they learn it and apply it on there personal lives. They torture people those are around them. This is the reason why people have started brutally killing people around them. In my stance there should be no portraying of the fictional violence. Furthermore there are many people those who support that fictional violence should be portrayed so that people can have lesson from it. Many people think that it helps society to know how to deal with the violence and seek help from the people. They also think that it helps society to learn how we can defend our selves in hard times. They think its harmless entertainment as it gives learning and help to aware society. But in my opinion people in our society they don't learn. They are mentally sick. They perform the worst what they see on television. Governments should take steps to control all this which is shown on television. This will help them in controlling very type of violence.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the discussion. The ideas are somewhat repetitive, particularly the assertion that viewers are 'mentally sick' or that they 'torture people,' which lacks nuance and supporting evidence. To improve, you should expand on the arguments with specific examples or logical explanations rather than making broad, unsubstantiated claims. The position is clear, but the development of ideas is insufficient to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into a single block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of clear paragraphing to separate the introduction, the two opposing viewpoints, and the conclusion. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'Furthermore' and 'However,' they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and the lack of paragraph breaks significantly impacts the overall flow and structure of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'many people' and 'learn violence' are used frequently, which limits the range of expression. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'ouccring' (spelling error) and 'very type of violence' (should be 'every type'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You should aim to use more academic synonyms and varied collocations to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect article usage ('the fictional violence'), subject-verb agreement ('those are around them'), and prepositional errors ('in my stance'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are frequent enough to cause some distraction for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and articles.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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