Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Fictional violence is a part of the film industry .There are many movies , drama serials and video games in which fictional violence and some scenes are potrayed for seeking the interest of the people . Depicted violence is only fictional and not harm anyone in the scene.
Fictional violence is harmfull for some young children . Young children might be screamed or scared through these scenes . Fictional violence may have negative effect on the mind oh the children . Another drawback of fictional violence potrayed on the T.V screens and video games is that young children try that moves and steps in the real life . They are innocent and have no idea about that content.
However the opinion of some people on fictional violence is that it supports the violent behaviour . They think that fictional violence supports and encourages the evils of the society to do something which is not better for the society .
My opinion about fictional violent content displayed on the T.V channels and movies is that it supports and favours violent behaviour in society . If our society is watching such a type of content they think that violence is not included the act of cruelity .
In the conclusion i want to say that fictional violence is not such type of content that is healthy for the society to look at . If production channels want to shoot and displayed this type of content they should must be banned and their license must be cancelled .This is better for the society
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument that fictional violence is 'harmless' is mentioned in the introduction but not explored in depth in the body paragraphs. The points regarding the negative impact on children are relevant but remain somewhat repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of why some people consider it harmless entertainment, rather than just stating it. The conclusion is clear, but the suggestion to ban all such content is a somewhat extreme position that could be better nuanced to show a more balanced academic perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and sometimes repetitive. For example, the phrase 'fictional violence' is used at the start of almost every paragraph, which makes the flow feel a bit stilted. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. While the progression of ideas is logical, the transitions are basic, and the referencing (e.g., 'that moves and steps') is occasionally unclear, which affects the overall flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'fictional violence', 'movies', and 'society'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'drama serials' (usually referred to as 'television series' or 'dramas') and 'not harm anyone' (should be 'does not harm anyone'). The phrase 'seeking the interest of the people' is also slightly unnatural. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the English language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'Young children might be screamed or scared' (should be 'might scream or be scared'), 'not included the act of cruelity' (should be 'does not include acts of cruelty'), and 'they should must be banned' (a double modal error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing around periods and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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