Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

TASK-2

There is an ongoing debate whether some people are argued that violence fictional shows portrayed on television are harmless or did not trigger aggressive behaviors. According to my perspective these shows pose a threat for adolescents and they contribute for wrong deeds too, I will articulate both of the viewpoints in subsequent paragraphs.

On the one hand, those who argued that fictional programs portrayed on television are not considered harmful may do so because of fictional and show are not based on true events. To explain it more, if audience are watching shows as entertainment, then programs have no detrimental effect on them. Especially, teenagers are watching such fictional violence based program for thriller and act as stress relief in entertainment circumstances. To exemplify, India, there are an array of shows like (CID), savdhan India and million of families are watching such shows for entertaining themselves, after coming from the workplace. Therefore, these shows often spread awareness and broaden the survival skills too in conflict of fraud and crimes.

On the other hand, I believe that those shows which promotes violence through programs on television with the help of movies and web series considered harmful for mature audience. Also, it does not matters , programs are fictional or inspired by true events. To elaborate, constant exposure of violent content may lead to hazardous consequences because adults mainly observe such things, which they watch in their daily life. Moreover, violence and gun culture have negative impression on their mind and it may enhance aggressive thoughts and behaviors too. For an instance, in India there are multifarious web series are based on fictional violence like Mirzapur, Sacred Games which glamorise gun culture, abusive languages and gang wars. Consequently, teenagers and adolescents are heavily influenced by such content and they think it may make them more powerful if youngsters adopt such culture.

In conclusion, even though some individuals opine that violence fictional shows are harmless and a source of entertainment and give thriller and reduce burden too, I disagree with them and instead I deem that by observating such violence Content may make person more aggressive. Inspite of ignoring violence content I think it should be balance the schedule of teenagers, which can be done with support of parents. Otherwise, the potential negative impact of violence may make young viewers more vulgar and give births to several cruelty thoughts.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal position. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of stress relief versus the glamorization of violence. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the examples provided (e.g., Indian web series) are relevant, the explanation of how these shows specifically influence behavior is occasionally repetitive or lacks depth. The conclusion attempts to summarize the main points but introduces new, slightly awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with clear logical links rather than just stating the impact.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Consequently,' which help guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'To explain it more' or 'In conclusion, even though some individuals opine.' Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences can feel disjointed due to grammatical errors. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be smoother to achieve a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use topic-specific terms like 'glamorise,' 'detrimental,' and 'multifarious.' However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'give births to several cruelty thoughts' and 'observating such violence Content.' Some phrasing is awkward, such as 'wrong deeds' or 'entertainment circumstances.' While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the presence of errors in word formation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding your vocabulary to include more natural collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('those who argued,' 'programs are fictional'), incorrect verb forms ('observating,' 'does not matters'), and awkward sentence construction ('There is an ongoing debate whether some people are argued'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the score.

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