Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that fictional violence should be banned on television because this would lead to violent acts. However, some individual oppose to this point. People support it due to the freedom of express and speech, while those who disagree it as it may cause crimes for mimicking. I totally agree that violence activities should not be allowed on television.

Nowadays, people think that they have freedom for everything including anything with violence on social media like television. The fiction express the mindset and feelings of human beings, that might be an expression of art form or performance. For example, when individuals get angry, they may express by hitting or fighting others. It is just the way to show the audience to indicate how angry they are. Moreover, this would make the show more excited and attractive. Therefore freedom should be allowed for some extent.

However, some opposers might disagree with it because not everyone can have mature knowledge and critical thinking to differentiate if they should mimick the rude behaviour. Furthermore, television is the most accessible media for pubic. For instance, there are children who bully the peer group after watching the violent shows and might commit the crimes after watching those programs. It might be one of the causes of increase in juvenile crimes.

In conclusion, violent programs on televisions have both pros and cons. People have freedom on expression but for the time being that might cause increase in juveniles’ crime rate. I would not agree any violence acts on television should be totally avoided.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both views and provides an opinion, though the position is somewhat contradictory. In the introduction, you state you 'totally agree that violence activities should not be allowed', but the conclusion ends with 'I would not agree any violence acts on television should be totally avoided', which creates confusion regarding your stance. While the main body paragraphs attempt to discuss both sides, the arguments are somewhat underdeveloped. For instance, the explanation of why violence is an 'art form' is vague, and the link between television and juvenile crime is asserted rather than fully explored with clear logical steps. To improve, ensure your position is consistent throughout and provide more detailed, specific examples to support your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'some individual oppose to this point' and 'those who disagree it' are grammatically awkward and hinder the flow. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, such as the jump from the 'art form' argument to the 'excitement' argument in the second paragraph. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'nevertheless') more naturally and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'this', 'those') clearly points back to the intended noun.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There are several instances of incorrect word choice or collocation, such as 'freedom of express' (should be 'expression'), 'mimick the rude behaviour' (should be 'imitate'), and 'accessible media for pubic' (a spelling error that changes the meaning). You rely on basic phrasing like 'violent acts' and 'violent programs' repeatedly. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to the topic, such as 'gratuitous violence', 'societal implications', or 'media regulation', and pay closer attention to word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('some individual oppose'), incorrect preposition usage ('disagree it'), and awkward phrasing ('freedom should be allowed for some extent'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the writing from being considered fluent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that prepositions are used correctly. Proofreading for small errors like missing articles ('the' or 'a') would also significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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