Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a growing debate on the fictional violence being portrayed on television. Some people argue that it is harmless while others say that it encourages violent behavior. This essay will explore both these perspectives and offer my own opinion on the matter.

On the one hand, those who believe that fictional violence shown on television is harmless entertainment are the people who argue that television does not influence their lives. They think that the real world and the entertainment world are quite different and do not influence one another. They contend that television is merely a form of entertainment and people should not copy or believe everything that is shown on television. For example, my elder brother thinks that the violent cartoon his daughter watches on the television doesn't really affect her. It is only entertainment for her, and she treats it like that.

On the other hand, those who believe that fictional violence portrayed on television encourages violent behavior argue that television is a part of our lives and we learn and do a great deal of things watching television. They contend that if people are influenced by the positive things that are shown on television, they might also be influenced by the negative things that are shown on television. For example, after the release of the famous series Money Heist was released, a lot of people all around the world tried to rob banks just by watching Money Heist. In my opinion, while fictional violence portrayed on television may seem harmless entertainment and not influence people's lives, it is necessary to monitor the level of violence that is being shown on television and who the main audience is.

In conclusion, some people may think that the fictional violence being portrayed on television is harmless, while others say that it encourages violent behavior. The ultimate goal should be to monitor what kind of violence is shown on television and who the real audience is and maintain certain control over that.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both perspectives and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the distinction between reality and entertainment, and the potential for imitation. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example regarding 'Money Heist' is a strong point, but it lacks nuance or specific evidence to support the claim that it caused bank robberies globally. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your arguments with more detailed analysis or logical consequences rather than relying on brief examples. Your position is clear throughout, which is a positive aspect of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' effectively. However, the cohesion is sometimes a bit mechanical. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother. Referencing is generally clear, though some sentences could be more tightly linked to avoid repetitive phrasing like 'shown on television' which appears frequently.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary such as 'fictional violence,' 'influence,' and 'monitor.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a noticeable repetition of phrases like 'shown on television' and 'violent behavior.' To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of repeating 'shown on television,' you could use 'broadcast media,' 'screen content,' or 'televised depictions.' The vocabulary is sufficient for the task but lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically correct and easy to understand. There are some minor errors, such as the redundant phrasing in 'the famous series Money Heist was released, a lot of people... tried to rob banks just by watching Money Heist.' A more concise structure would be: 'Following the release of the series Money Heist, there were reports of individuals attempting to replicate the crimes depicted.' While your control of grammar is generally good, increasing the variety of complex structures and ensuring greater precision in sentence construction would enhance your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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