Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is irrefutable that the violence is incline day by day. However, some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment and others think that it encourages violent behaviour. In this essay, I will discuss both the views and give my own opinion.
Fraction of people believe that the fictional violence is harmless because it is for entertainment. As individuals watch series for their own contentment not to learn about violence. It is source of rejuvenation for them. They think it is fiction not in reality then how it affects individuals.
Besides some individuals think that the violence that shows in the television is harmful since it affects the mindset of people. Especially, it targets the young generation. Youngsters watch movies, series and play games which promote gun culture. Not only this, they starts fights in the really because od singers, they hate each other. They judge each other on the basis what they like to watch. Our brain does not know what is fictional and what is real. For example, we fell in dreams but in actually we sleep on the bed but our body reacts according to the brain signal , our brain shakes our body. That is how they affect brain of individuals.
In my opinion, fictional violence has deleterious effect on the individuals as they change their mindset and behaviour. They starts those things which harm other people. Moreover, they promote gun culture.
Different people have different notions regards this statement but I have sound reasons to advocate that the television shows promote of violence.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a clear personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. The argument regarding the 'brain signal' and 'dreams' is confusing and lacks logical clarity, failing to effectively support the point about the impact of fictional violence. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments are under-developed and rely on generalizations. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete, logical examples and ensure that each paragraph fully explores the implications of the arguments presented rather than simply stating them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Fraction of people' is an incorrect transition, and 'Besides some individuals' is an awkward way to introduce a counter-argument. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the link between television violence and the example of dreaming is unclear. More varied and precise linking words are needed to improve the flow and logical connection between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'the violence is incline day by day' (should be 'increasing') and 'in the really' (should be 'in reality'). The repetition of basic terms like 'individuals' and 'violence' limits the range. To improve, you should focus on learning collocations and using more academic vocabulary to express complex ideas, rather than relying on simple, sometimes incorrectly used, phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('they starts', 'it affects'), incorrect preposition usage ('regards this statement'), and awkward sentence construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly verb forms and sentence structure, is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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