Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A few people tend to believe that violence seen on digital media is not of any harm if it is fictional. The more famous idea is contrary to it that this encourages actions in real life. From a personal perspective, I believe that the second opinion has broader ground for it, based purely on recent findings and facts as we see the newer generations showed unexpected neural changes with such television shows being an everyday part of our lives.
Fictional content that includes violence is recently an increasing part of our lives and it has affected us a lot more than we have noticed. It is not only harmful for its encouraging nature but it also causes many psychological problems such as depression and PTSD. Brutal content with no warnings may never cause brain damage to an unrecoverable extent however it always is a reason for plenty of temporary discomfort. For instance many adolescents have reported panic attacks and issues with sleeping after they consume such content because the thoughts never leave the brain until forced to.
On the flip side, It is also true that harm has been lifted after its incorporation in our minds. The generation Z , called as gen z has shown desensitization towards savagery because after allegedly watching too much of such content. Fictional television could no more infuriate any feelings in them any more and it is just as neutral as taking their dog to walk. For further understanding, we can explore the fact that the general public always likes such movies with thrill and violence in it.
In conclusion, the modern word has seen psychological changes after its desensitization however it still pose as a potential threat for those yet unexposed to it. Understanding that, I believe such content should no more be available as publicly as it is right now.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph provides a specific consequence (psychological issues), the second paragraph is slightly confusing; it attempts to argue that desensitization is a form of 'harm' but the phrasing 'harm has been lifted' is contradictory and unclear. The conclusion effectively summarizes the position, but the overall depth of the argument could be improved by providing more concrete examples beyond general statements about 'neural changes' or 'gen z'. The position is consistent, but the supporting arguments require more logical refinement to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the flip side' and 'For instance', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the transition into the second body paragraph. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between the idea of 'desensitization' and the conclusion that content should be restricted could be more tightly linked to improve the overall cohesion of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'desensitization', 'savagery', and 'unrecoverable'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'harm has been lifted', 'infuriate any feelings', and 'modern word' (likely a typo for 'world'). These errors occasionally impede the precision of the argument. To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and ensuring that the chosen words precisely convey the intended meaning rather than just sounding academic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'newer generations showed' (tense inconsistency), 'called as gen z' (incorrect structure), and 'it still pose' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors throughout. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences and proofreading for basic agreement and tense consistency would significantly improve the grammatical profile.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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