Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is a growing concern regarding the fictional violence on television and other social platforms, some individuals argue that,it is a harmless entertainment where as it is also advocated that fake fighting actually encourage bad attitudes in the society. I will argue both sides of this view.

Firstly, i strongly advocate the notion that, fake fighting is not just a fun and comedy, although it depend on the mentality and age group of the viewers. For instance, movies and dramas are watched by people of every age group, so there will be a difference in perspectives of different minds. Mature and elder personalities can digest these violent ideas and take it as an amusement for them while, children are the sufferers of these conflicting scenes of the social media. So, it should be prohibited or filtered through the movies for children moreover, government should apply filtered actions and awareness campaigns on television. Ultimately, film directors, drama makers, producers should think about the betterment of future and society through their display and writing.

On the other hand, in favour of this view i have a rational opinion, fictional violence should only be presented with comedy and fun factors. Audience will enjoy it as well as, communities will get rid of criminals and cruel ideas for committing crimes. To exemplify, funny fights and entertainment in movies should display as a mood changer as, it freshen up and relax the mind of viewer. As a result, happiness will be the main positive outcome of such funny violence and videos. Film maker should pay attention toward these factors, so that violence, crimes and such activities could get wiped out of a society.

Taking every thing into account, fictional violence should be on aired under some rules and filtered regulations for specif age groups of the community on contrary side, it should be motivated just for fun and entertainment purpose. In both scenarios , the main outcome is the positive and crime free future of the society,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, though the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While you identify the risks to children and the potential for entertainment, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the suggestion that 'communities will get rid of criminals' through funny violence is not logically supported or clearly explained. The position is clear, but the supporting points are occasionally repetitive or vague. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph develops a single, coherent idea with more concrete reasoning or real-world evidence rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', and 'Taking every thing into account'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'on contrary side' in the conclusion, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, some sentences within paragraphs lack smooth transitions, making the progression of ideas feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety and precision of linking words will help the essay read more naturally and improve the overall logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'mentality', 'prohibited', and 'rational opinion'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'digest these violent ideas', 'filtered actions', and 'get wiped out of a society'. These errors do not prevent understanding, but they do limit the precision of your expression. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and try to use more sophisticated vocabulary to express your ideas with greater nuance and accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in punctuation and grammar, such as comma splices ('...social platforms, some individuals argue that,it is...'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement issues ('fake fighting actually encourage'). The use of 'i' instead of 'I' is a recurring error that should be corrected. While these errors rarely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that your complex sentences are punctuated correctly.

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