Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In today's world , technology is rising is day by day.Some people believe that the violence prtrayed on television is harmless entertainment.Others think that it encourages violent behaviour.This essay will intend to discuss both the viewpoints along with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with. there are many reasons why people think that the vilonec is harmless entertainment for people.Many parents think then the childern see this in television is and the also violence make in others.Violence is can not negtive effect in children health.However, violence is important entertainment for people. Many people do not like to see the violence portrayed on television because they think it is harmless for themselves.Moreover, violence also increase on children and adult's behaviour.Many children do not spent tome with their parentes becuase they think their parentes are create violence bad they do not like these violence.Mnay people are intersted in the violence portrayed on television and they also enjoy these violence.
On the other hand, violence is also increase mindset young people. Violence alos suggested to young peple to ake crime in their countries and young people more focus on crimes because they have intersted in them.Many young people do noy have work and they also responsible for themselves what is right and what is wrong for them.Many families are disturbence by violence.Young people not concentrate on their studies and it is very harmful for peoples. It create very bad effect for human's lives.
In conclusion , both views have their own benefits and drawback.In my opinion , this is very harmful for themselevs and the other side many people are intersted in them and they also enjoy in them
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by attempting to discuss both views on television violence and providing an opinion in the conclusion, fulfilling the basic requirements of Task 2. However, the development of ideas is severely hampered by extreme expression issues, repetition, and contradictory statements. For instance, in the second body paragraph, the writer states both that violence is harmless and that it creates bad behavioral effects, which blurs the clarity of the arguments. The position is stated in the introduction and conclusion, but the reasoning is often confused or contradictory. Ideas are limited and under-developed, which corresponds to the characteristics of Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the internal progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by broken sentences, abrupt shifts, and misuse of cohesive devices. For example, sentences like 'To commence with. there are many reasons why people think that the vilonec is harmless...' demonstrate poor punctuation and referencing. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, and paragraphing is applied mechanically rather than to group distinct, logical thoughts. The overall arrangement shows some organizational structure, but ideas often jump erratically without clear transitions or logical progression, fitting the Band 4 descriptor.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and often inaccurate due to spelling errors (e.g., 'prtrayed', 'vilonec', 'childern', 'negtive', 'becuase', 'parentes'). The writer attempts some less common words, but these attempts result in severe collocation and word choice errors, such as 'violence is important entertainment' or 'violence is also increase mindset young people'. The range is extremely limited and repetitively recycles terms like 'violence', 'entertainment', and 'young people'. These frequent errors and lexical inadequacies significantly strain the reader and reflect a Band 4 performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences that are frequently plagued by errors. Complex structures are attempted—such as 'This essay will intend to discuss both the viewpoints...'—but they are often ungrammatical or awkwardly phrased (e.g., 'Violence is can not negtive effect in children health'). Errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions are pervasive and occur in almost every sentence. Punctuation is also erratic, with missing spaces after commas and periods. These frequent grammatical errors distort meaning and make the text difficult to read, placing it firmly at Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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