Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Some people believe that practical skills are more important than academic qualification. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today's worlds, work experience significant in new business and employments. Including, in many new business fields work and knowledge experience is very useful, whether new developed companies may first check a qualification after that, hire them a job. As a results, students initially complete their study and side by side practical skills. therefore, this can become a widely debated issue. This essay shall examine both perspective and explain why students firstly complete our qualification.
One of the major advantages of qualification in specific fields. such as, learners can graduation in one skill with deep study, while they may learns theoretical in the college through the professors. As a result, teachers take annual exams which, give a score according to performance. Certification not only a piece of a paper, but also proof a study. Another, main benefits of educational background can help to achieve a better job in same profession. For instance, if pupils complete their diploma successfully, it becomes easier for them find employment. therefore, education background may be significand in our life. It is plays a important role to find a better career works.
Despite above the arguments opponents state that, practical skills are important rather than education owing to some corporation companies only hire skilled and experienced worker. Including, skilled employees have a great knowledge then helps to repairs machines and technically glitches. As a results, companies hire well skilled employs and pay higher salary rather than to beginners. Moreover, one of the major advantages of practical skills can provides better jobs opportunities, For instance, experienced workers may find better jobs because there is always strong demand for workers with practical experience. Experience not only provides better employment, but also save times to solves problems. Therefore, experience employs could achieve better jobs opportunities, while always strong shortage of great skilled workers.
In conclusion, although qualification education provides proof to specific study and helps to boosts career in same fields, skilled workers solves the problems very easy through the knowledge and find a better jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The student has written an essay that addresses the prompt regarding practical skills versus academic qualifications, presenting both views and a personal opinion in the introduction. However, there is a significant issue: the student responded to a completely different prompt than the one provided in the writing task instructions. The prompt given in the instructions asks about fictional violence on television, whereas the student's essay discusses practical skills versus academic qualifications. Because the response is off-topic relative to the official prompt, it cannot be considered to have addressed all parts of the task properly. The ideas presented are developed logically within the context of the wrong topic, but the fundamental task achievement criterion requires addressing the actual stimulus provided. Therefore, this results in a low score for Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an attempt at paragraphing. However, logical organization and progression are frequently disrupted by confusing transitions and poor sentence linking. For example, phrases like 'Including, in many new business fields...' and 'As a results, students initially...' demonstrate faulty and mechanical cohesion. Referencing is often unclear, such as in the sentence 'whether new developed companies may first check a qualification after that, hire them a job.' Paragraphing is present, but the overall flow makes it difficult for the reader to follow the argument smoothly. Cohesive devices are either inadequate or inappropriately used throughout the text, placing this response at Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent errors in word choice and word formation that strain the reader. Examples include 'qualification' instead of 'qualifications', 'new developed companies', 'knowledge experience', 'education background', and 'employs' used instead of 'employees'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'significant', 'corporation', and 'technical glitches', but these are often used inaccurately or ungrammatically (e.g., 'technically glitches'). While the meaning can sometimes be guessed through context, the lexical control is weak, fitting the Band 5 descriptor where noticeable errors cause difficulty for the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is severely limited, consisting mainly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are frequently faulty. There is a high frequency of basic errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Examples include 'Today's worlds, work experience significant...', 'teachers take annual exams which, give a score...', 'It is plays a important role...', and 'skilled workers solves the problems very easy through the knowledge'. Punctuation is also problematic, with commas incorrectly separating subjects from verbs or clauses (e.g., 'opponents state that, practical skills are important...'). These persistent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader, aligning the grammar score with Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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