Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THERE IS AN ONGOING DEBATE ABOUT WHETHER THE VOILENCE SHOWN ON THE TV IS HAVING BAD EFFECT OR NOT. SOME BELIEVE THAT IT IS HARMLESS AND DOES NOT ENCOURAGE VOILENCE WHILE THE OTHER ARGUE THAT IT MOTIVATES VOILENCE. THIS ESSAY DISCUSSES BOTH BEFORE GIVNG MY OPINION.
ON THE ONE HAND, THE SUPPORTERS OF THE FICTIONAL VOILENCE THINK IT IS FOR THE PURPOSE OF ENJOYMENT. INDIVIDULAS GET TIRED OF WORKING AND HAVE A HECTIC WEEK, SO THEY REALLY WANT TO WATCH FICTIONAL STORIES, SOME ARE FAN OF THE VOILENCE AND THEY BELIEVE THAT IT MAKES THEM RELAX. FOR INSTANCE, THERE WAS A MOVIE RELEASED, WHICH WAS ABOUT THE GANGSTR AND AMMUNATIONS. THAT FILM WAS LOVED BY EVRYONE, MAKE ALOT OF MONEY AND ALSO THE THEATERS WERE FULL.
ON THE OTHER HAND, OTHER CONTEND THAT IT IS ENCOURAGING THE VOILENT NATURE. THEIR WORRY IS ON THE RIGHT PATH BECUSE THESE VIDEOS ARE ALSO WATCHED BY CHILDREN WHICH CHANGES THEIR MIND. DUE TO THIS A KID IS MORE INTO NEGATIVE SIDE THAN POSITIVE , AND IT IS NOT GOOD FOR THE SOCIETY. FOR INSTANCE, I WILL SAY THAT WAS ONE OF MY FRIENDS, WHICH WAS FOND OF WATCHING VOILENT MOVIES SO DUE TO THAT HE CONSIDERED TO BE LIKE THEM AND STARTED INVOLVING HIMSELF WITH GANGS. ALSO HE WAS INVOLVED IN MULTIPLE CRIMINAL CHARGES.
FROM MY PERPECTIVE, THE PEOPE THAT THINK IT ENCOURAGES VOILENT BEHAVOIT SEEMS MORE CONVINCING BEACUSE, IT SERIOUSLY DESTROYING THE YOUNG KIDS MIND. IN CONCLUSION, WHILE BOTH VIEWS HAVE MERIT, I STRONGLY CONDEMN IT AND I BELIEVE IT MUST BE REMOVED.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—that fictional violence is harmless entertainment and that it encourages violent behaviour—and providing a personal opinion. The position is clear throughout, particularly highlighted in the conclusion and final paragraph. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and relies on basic generalisations rather than fully extended arguments. For instance, the example provided of the movie about gangsters lacks depth. While all core parts of the prompt are covered, the overall development places this response firmly at Band 6, where relevant ideas are presented but remain slightly under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure representing the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently mechanical and repetitive, heavily relying on transitional phrases like 'ON THE ONE HAND', 'ON THE OTHER HAND', and 'FOR INSTANCE' in all-caps formatting. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where referencing pronouns become muddled. Paragraphing is utilised to separate the distinct parts of the argument, but the internal logical progression within paragraphs is somewhat disjointed due to phrasing choices. This profile aligns with the Band 6 descriptor, featuring a coherent overall layout with mechanical cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range to communicate ideas relating to the topic, using terms such as 'ongoing debate', 'entertainment', and 'criminal charges'. However, there are numerous persistent spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'VOILENCE' instead of violence, 'INDIVIDULAS' instead of individuals, 'GANGSTR' instead of gangster, 'EVRYONE' instead of everyone, 'BEACUSE' instead of because, and 'PERPECTIVE' instead of perspective. These lexical errors and awkward word choices ('considered to be like them') indicate a Band 5 level, as the vocabulary range is minimally adequate but spelling errors are noticeable and occur frequently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional and relative structures ('which was about the gangstr and ammunations'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors in tense consistency, article usage, and prepositions, for example, 'the volience shown on the tv is having bad effect', 'one of my friends, which was fond of', and 'destroying the young kids mind'. Furthermore, writing the entire response in ALL CAPS detracts from proper punctuation control. Although communication is not severely impeded, the high frequency of grammatical slips places this performance at Band 5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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