Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
It is often asserted that , there are two types of people some persons say fictional voilence displayed on TV Shows and on other social media plateforms have no detrimental problems on the other hand hand some people things it reflects the appericiation to the violaent behaviour.Althought both prespective have some merit.I belive that there should be no fictional violence depicts on social media or televisions .
To begin,there are several reasons why some belive that fictional violence portrayed on television is hramless entertainment. The main reason is that people take fictional dramas and shows just as a hobby and to spending their spare time .Furthermore most of the people are fond of seeing fighting . For instance childern who want to becaome a policeman and army officer ,dector then the fighting or the violence seen will helped him. Therefore in results violence entertainment will be beneficial.
On the other hand, other argue that fictional violence on the Television can be dangerous . Due to the visiual representation of the bad stuff have bad impacts .
Childern or the other individual who sees the dangerous stuff then they want to attempt those represents. there are numerous kinds of veiolence decpicts on social media dueto this mos of the people taught the variety of the ways to done a crime. For exanple, an indian show Crime Petrol tells us about the different ways to attemppt the crime .
In conculsion, although fictional violence on television can be beneficial therefore i belive that it has alot of bad impact on our society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address all parts of the task by discussing both views on fictional violence and stating a clear personal position in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat simplistic. For instance, the argument supporting fictional violence suggests that fighting scenes help children who want to become policemen or doctors, which lacks logical support and real-world depth. Similarly, the counterargument is underdeveloped, relying on a single brief example of an Indian show, Crime Patrol. Because the ideas are presented in a very basic manner and lack adequate extension, the task response falls into the Band 5 category.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates some organizational structure with paragraph breaks separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but overall progression is hindered by poor punctuation, missing spaces, and faulty cohesive devices. Transitional phrases like 'To begin' and 'On the other hand' are used, but cohesion within paragraphs is frequently disrupted by run-on sentences and erratic spacing (e.g., 'To begin,there are several reasons...'). Referencing is also weak, with ambiguous pronouns such as 'helped him' where the antecedent is unclear. There is no clear overall logical progression, placing this performance at Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 based on general paragraph layout.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and limited, with frequent spelling errors that frequently strain the reader's comprehension. Words like 'voilence', 'plateforms', 'appericiation', 'Althought', 'prespective', 'hramless', 'childern', 'becaome', 'visiual', and 'decpicts' recur throughout the text. While the writer attempts some less common words, the high density of lexical inaccuracies and incorrect word forms prevents the response from achieving a higher score. The lexical range is minimally adequate to convey the basic topic, fitting the Band 4 descriptor well.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatically, the response shows a very limited range of structures. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex forms are consistently marred by severe grammatical errors, incorrect verb forms, and severe punctuation flaws. Examples include 'there are two types of people some persons say...', 'dector then the fighting or the violence seen will helped him', and 'mos of the people taught the variety of the ways to done a crime.' Subject-verb agreement errors, tense inconsistencies, and missing articles are pervasive throughout, meaning that errors are frequent and significantly impede smooth communication, aligning closely with Band 4 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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