Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Few indivisuals believe that fights shown as fun on TV is a neutral type of fun and have no side effect. While, some argue that this statement is wrong and this type of media contains harmful effect on mental health. Physical violence displayed on our media is an significant reason of dangerous habits. In this essay, i will try to ensure disscusion between both these points and my own opinion as per my knowlede.
Stylized voilence displayed on our televisions contain no effect on our violent behavior, is argued by some people. Nowadays, our movies and dramas are mostly encourging fight situations which contains harmful effect on our mental stability. This type of media alarm our brain to work accordingly as shown, lose the patience and start violence in critical situations of life. For instance, this dangerous type of media can increase toxicity in a teenager's brain and be dangerous for his studies, school, future and so on.
Other people argue that this mindset is wrong, all this toxic media consumed by a brain is result into dangerous outcomes. The cells or our brain are arranged in pattern and our brain works accordingly. A mind works accordingly as it is feeded, this type of bad media is not suitable for our mental health and it is loss of time and mind. For example, a kid watching educational poems and cartoons result into reasonable increase in his education. Furthermore, bad media contains bad effect and be very dangerous for a immature mind.
In my opinion, watching these fights and harmful scenes is a wate of time and mind, which is not affordable for humans as they can adopt wrong habits. There should be a barrier on these scenes to reduce their consumption and to protect our society from violent enviorment. All the shows displayed on our media should be checked first and then released. Any scene containing fights or alarming situation should be banned. Moreover, all the makers of these shows should be warned.
In conclusion, watching these clips is an alarming sign for our society. The fictional violence portrayed on our televisons encourages voilent behaviour and may dangerous for our society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on fictional television violence and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer establishes a position right from the introduction, stating that media violence contributes to harmful habits. Ideas are presented and supported with examples, such as comparing a child watching educational cartoons with one consuming violent media. However, some arguments remain somewhat repetitive and under-developed, relying on general statements like 'be very dangerous for a immature mind' rather than deeper exploration. Despite these limitations, the main task requirements are met adequately, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure that separates the introduction, the two differing views, the personal opinion, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'While', 'For instance', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times mechanical or slightly faulty, as seen in phrases like 'While, some argue that this statement is wrong' and 'all this toxic media consumed by a brain is result into dangerous outcomes.' Paragraphing is used appropriately to segment ideas, but the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother and more precise.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'mental stability', 'toxicity', and 'environmental'. However, there are frequent word-choice errors, incorrect collocations, and spelling mistakes that detract from the writing. Examples include 'indivisuals' instead of 'individuals', 'alarm our brain' instead of 'alert', 'is result into' instead of 'results in', 'is a wate of time' instead of 'waste', and 'enviorment' instead of 'environment'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they reflect a limited control over less common lexical items, placing the response firmly at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and relative clauses, such as 'A mind works accordingly as it is feeded'. However, control of grammar and punctuation is inconsistent, and frequent errors occur throughout the text. Noticeable grammatical mistakes include subject-verb agreement issues ('fights shown as fun on TV is...'), article omissions ('in my opinion, i will try to ensure disscusion...'), and incorrect verb forms ('is feeded'). Additionally, capitalization errors occur with the pronoun 'i'. These frequent errors can cause occasional difficulty for the reader, matching the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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